excuse me, tiny cooking videos:

i am trying to trick myself into falling asleep. please do not bring whole-grain mustard into yr situation, forcing me to confront the question “would i like mustard seeds as much if they were the size of plums and you ate them like plums?”

whole mustard seeds rule, because they give you that caviar-like crunch. which brings another, worse question to the table: what if caviar was the size of plums and you ate it like plums?

what if you ate bird eggs like plums?

and don’t be all disingenuous and say “hardboiled eggs”. you don’t eat caviar hardboiled

...but what if you did?