Thread by @seungyoun_g, Dream For five years i kept it to my self that i [...]

Dream

For five years i kept it to my self that i like you

1st year Grd9
We became classmates lol, then seat mates for the rest of the year, you were annoying to me then because you kept asking on how to maths and chemistry, at first i always answer your question and help you but then you kept asking every second that i was annoyed lol

- and i stopped helping and only saying ‘i dont know’ to your questions. But little did i know i started to like you, we can just talk about everything, youre talkative, and always talk about the things you like, and im just beside you l, listening and i always remember th things

-you said before, you know. You were always close to everyone, even now because of how talkative you are and have something common with them, may it just be about games, music, sport, bands. And im just there observing you and smiling inside on hiw you’re so cute

2nd year G10
And bruhh, we were classmates again, and fkng seatmates too for two quarters in the school year, i always tell you before that im tired of being your seatmate or you as my seatmate, but again i was happy inside since i can just talk and be there beside you and listen

We also had new classmates that we also got close too, i got close to 3 girls because they also like kpop, and us girls talked about almost everything, we ranted about school works in our own gc and about how gorgeous k idols are.

But it was just not me who got close to the girls, you did too. And one of the girls talked in our gc, that she likes you, i didnt know what to say, what to feel, the girls didnt know i like you, and i feel really close to the girl who has a crush you know, since were rlly alike

How alike me and girl was
We both like kpop
We have the same hobbies
Likes the same course for college and are clssmtes rn for our course
It wasnt a comptition but both of us were alwys at the top 2 of the class, alternating turn with top 1 & 2
We kinda hve the same silhouette

-that our teacher mistook us with one another, thats just how similar we are
Well bck to you boy, you got close to the girls as well, and one of the girls told the class that she likes you, and from then on the class started shippng you two, while im just thre “supprting you two”

-but i think i was hurting inside already, one of your boy friends knew that i like, i didnt tell him, he just know, he tried to actually said in class when they were shipping the two that ‘no, now ——(my name) is hurting’ but the class actually didnt take it srsly

Both of your mothers were really suprtive everytime the class ships you both in parties, we were really close at first have of that year that others expected for us to be partners for the ball

But i think we kinda drifted but still close,
Now with your rltnship with the girl, i think it started christmas party, you were with her all day that day. You probably talked about the both of you. cause the following month, you changed you cellpsswrd to her birthday from yours

I knew about it since we are that close that we know each others pass, you have access on my phone that you even registered you fingerprint, for you easily access it, i didnt mind since you really liked playing with games and i have a lot of them

For me i can only access your phone when you give it to me so i can choose a song and listen to it, that’s just about it

3rd year Grd11
We werent classmate ‘finally’ jk, we werent classmates but we still chat from time to time, and the girl was in another class too, and i didnt know what happened to you both anymore since we’re not in the same class, we were still close with the girl since

-she always goes to my building during lunch so we talk, but with you we smtimes we talk in chat about topics about school and when we talk about maths and chemistry (ughh where it all started) and need help.

Nothing much happened in the third year coz i wasnt updated about you at all and focused more on acads

4th year Grd12
and bruh we were classmates again wtf is this, we only got more closer, we werent seatmates this time but you always transfer on the vacant seat beside me when the teacher is not strict with the arrangement, we talked more and got close more, you actually

-started liking kpop na which is new since you always called them gay before, we were always beside eachother that a lot of our classmates started shipping us together but i know, i just know that something happened with you and the girl during the third year, and you

-still havent moved on from it, i think you both took a break in 3rd year since its senior high, busy sched. Acads i feel ya, but you still both kept in touch
But this year you’re kinda down, i sometimes ask you how both of you and the girl are, but you never really answered so

- i figured you didnt want to talk about it, we got closer this year and also with another of your friend who is just talkative as you, i always feel my heart beating so fast, everytime you sit beside me, every time you’re there we talk or you sleep or we sleep on this uncoftable

-desk chairs, evrytime i take a nap and your there beside me, i always feel you playing with my hair, and whenever you take a nap, you always ask me to play with your hair, i guess you think that makes you fell asleep

I fell deeper in this crush zone but i just cant tell you about it since, me and the girl are really close friends and i cant just have the whole G10 class name me as someone who haves a relationship or even with just someone who has a crush to someone your friend also likes

It was really painful to not be able to express what i feel, but i think i just need to be satisfied withthe relationship we currently have, i just have to accept it.

It’s Grd12 so that means we have a retreat, we sat together everytime there’s an assembly in the common room, we were joking around with our other classmates about crushes and there’s this other guy classmate who keeps making faces across the room so i was always laughing

But this other guy who sat on the other side of you (also my seatmt in class) decided to tease me that i have a crush on the guy across the room, so we were joking around but i told him ‘my crush is just seating beside me so why would i have it there across the room’ jokingly

You took it as a joke but our guy classmate that was beside you knows that it wasnt just a joke.
Well moving on, during retreat you’re sometimes beside me, during assemblies and gatherings, i dont even know how you find it so comftable to sleep on my shoulder when im too short

-you’re like 6’ tall already and im just 5’3, but i let you sleep tho cuz you said you head hurts, i dont want interpret something from your actions because i’ll assume that you like me,

-retreat ended so were back in classes
The guy beside you in retreat who was also my seatmate talked to me in class, you and i werent seated beside eachother since it has a specific arrangement, well this guy knew my feelings for you, and he asked me about you

I told him that i cant really tell you what i feel, since people will see me as a traitor, a snake, for even just liking you because me and your girl are friends and my seatmate just told me ‘ouch that hurts’ so i just sadly smiled knowing how painful it was,

Next days or weeks idk you seemed actually happier than usual so i figured you and the girl have sorted things out

Well march this year we’re both busy because research

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Gesicht mit rollenden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit rollenden Augen">, but our groups are still together because we need the same labs for both of our groups reasearch, cant believe we were together the day before quarantine happened and we cant go outside anymore.

Since quarantine happened, i saw you posting in socmed about the girl so i guess your back together,

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙂" title="Leicht lächelndes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Leicht lächelndes Gesicht">.

Fastforward to 5th year this year freshman college
We’re not classmates of course since we take different courses but with your girl we are classmates, we still chat talking about school stuffs and and about music

I actually shared this post with this picture cause i just got spotify agn and guess who was the the only one commented on it, you, yes you, and what song did you reco, it was fking ‘I Miss You - blink 182’

You were the only one who commented a song and our classmates from Gr12 commented ‘sana ol i miss you’, i dont know if you just really recommended a song or are you sending a messge, lol at myself

I actually listened to the song and to the other songs by the artist, and i love listening to their other songs.

So i posted their songs in my ig story cuz i loved it, and you again the only one who replied ‘i have playlist ——(nickname he made for me)’ you actually sent your fking own playlist to me, and and the songs are just so ughhdhshd i love.

Idk what to feel anymore

Well today i had a dream about you, and included si girl.

I can only remember some parts of it

You and i are together in a room and i finally had the guts to tell you how i feel, but you didn’t talk nor did i we just sat there beside each other

After that day, you sent a long message to me

From what i remember it said that you did like me in the first years of us knwing each other but now you like her, and still like her, you said sorry for not being able to reciprocate the feelings, and that you stll like her til now

I actually cried in the dream with puffy eyes i went to my room in the apartment where me and her shared because again we are taking the same course, i though she wasnt there so i wanted to talk to other girls there about it with out knowing shes there

I said ‘ ummm ate(older sister) can i talk to you about something, but she heard me asking to talk to the eldest girl in the house, so she asked me whats wrong, i cant tell her since it was about you and her, but i can see that she was just crying too, her puffy eyes were visible

So i assume you told her about me, so i said ‘i think you know what wrong with me —— (hername)’ and went to my room and cried more

Then i woke up
It was a dream but i still feel the pain i felt in it, idk what to do, i reaaly liked the girl you know, we rant with each other about our classes, we fknnrelate to eachother with hardships in acads so my heart felt really but releived at the same time

That it was all a dream, it hurts to see in the dream that you chose her but i guess there’s really just something about her that you really liked

I guess ill end this thread about you today and maybe continue if something happens about you

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