yall ever just... get completely taken over by the dark energies feeding into your fought down addictions and black out during a relapse just to come to afterwards and experience phat regret

ha !

just ..,, generally speaking
The way this looks for me, is a food thing.

Sugar addictions manifested through sugary coffees.

Gluten addiction manifested through not feeling full while eating unless I have had bread.
(Though I'm beating this one well.)

Overeating manifested through avoiding wastefulness.a
And, sometimes, every once in a while, something I have noticed happens most when I am like experiencing hunger pains kind of hungry... Is the good ol' cheese addiction comes back to haunt me.

This happened today.

Despite being plant-based for years now, this is still a thing.
An incredible hunger strikes and the only thing my addiction tells me will satiate it, fix the light headedness and headaches is to eat cheese pizza. Lol? It sounds ridiculous.

Most times I'm strong - bc my morale is strong.

Sometimes I fail.
I indulge.
I come to.
I regret.
But it isn't as simple as eating something gross.
Bc it is fucking gross.
So much about it is gross, and is why I don't allow it.

So it then becomes a mental thing, too.

And it becomes a feeling of invasion into my body. Energetically.

Then my body feels gross.

It's deep.
I haven't done a lot of looking into the addictive properties of cheese/dairy, but I know it's a thing I've passingly seen research on.
Not to mention, a thing that I've experienced in my own life.
It's so weird.

Years since removing it, but it can still snatch me when I'm weak.
It's a thing with the sugary coffee drinks, too. Partial reason why I drink coffee in the first place is the sweet creamyness of it - I could go without the caffeine.

Sugar addiction is gross.

I just don't want to entertain any kind of addiction.
Bread addiction seems to be the easiest to fight because the alternatives are pretty rad.

I'm loving gluten free replacements.

But it took me YEARS to wean off.
I had an addiction to marijuana, too. That one is kicked, I'd say. Idk fully as I haven't allowed it back in since kicking it, but I will, and I don't anticipate it'll ever make it's way into my life the way it was prior.
I think theres also a lot to be said about addiction to orgasms.

Whether be with an actual person, with a tool, with "manual" stimulation lol

Hijacking the pleasure sensors in the mind is just , idk , I just can't imagine it's good
I work hard to be non-indulgent on anything, non-dependent on anything, to create the purest, cleanest environment for my body, mind and spirit.

To allow room for myself to be human, absolutely.

But to avoid any mental pleasure receptor hijacking.

Back to purity is my aim.
The idea resonates w me that creating a low vibration within ourselves, allows for lower vibrational entities to enter our space & encourage low vibrational actions, to keep us low.

The trickle effect of this, most often, just isn't worth indulgence.

So I maintain to vibe high.
I work hard to keep my vibration high, as it is uplifting in so so so many ways, manifesting so much pure good in my life.

Slipping from that felt super disappointing.

And, frankly, I presume my vibe dropped in the first place as I indulged in alcohol last night.
Ha! Lol
Whatever

This thread is really long and it's more for me than anything else, but these thoughts are something that I find to be worth sharing

I'm working on / not being hard on myself - switching between the two, ha

I'm gonna go drink some detox tea lol
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