Okay, so I was Captain of the flagship, the SS American Wet Dream

We unmoored from the dock and raised anchor.

So, I need a playlist to sail. Someone suggested yacht rock, which is too on the nose.

I started thinking about party rock and then dmed @Utwitily

We hit an iceberg

It was from that Canadian ice wall that melted.

Anyway the second boat, the SS Nepotism, was there to rescue us.

I commandeered the boat and bet the original captain that I could backflip the boat.

I missed and we landed on the SS Dipshit Eric

Now the fourth boat, the SS I'd Do My Daughter sank because I BofA'd the coast guard and they fired on us

Finally we were rescued by the SS My Dipshit Son in Law.

So don't let the liberal media blow this out of proportion