(nsfw) hey speaking of ideas, that grocery AU:

Again, it's not like people exactly give a shit about gossiping about Customers, but today, all the front end cashiers have come to the conclusion: the Turks' boyfriend is either on mako or he just got his brains fucked out, or both

He wandered in at a definitely unusual time (seven am); even worse, it's a Saturday

His red hair (always scruffy) is splayed out like he didn't even attempt to tie it

And he's sort of wandering the grab-n-go section in a daze

Head tilted, shuffling dreamily to the left

And since this is still Midgar it's not like they don't immediately pay more attention

Especially Tip, who is new and hasn't really seen much of The Turk yet

But eventually he does stumble up to the reg with two cups of coffee and three boiled eggs and a mishmash of other stuff

His gil is good, and he's shockingly polite

Spacey little smile spread across his lips

So even if he's on mako, he's lit up nice

He leans against the counter and tries to leave a tip for Yasmin when she gives him his bags

She laughs and says she wishes her night was that good

And he gives her a bit of a weird look, but then his brain catches up to the rest of his sleepy, slow body and he just says "job's gotta have some perks"

Then he leaves her a 5 gil tip (again) and stumbles away before she can respond

The tip ends up minor Mgmt Drama

And that would have been the end of it, except there's other times he starts coming in greened out

It wouldn't be as noticeable if it were the weekend, but just like The Turk, the redhead shows up on off days

Sometimes it's Tuesday morning that he's orbiting the oranges

Sometimes the Turk starts coming with him like it's a regular day

Only neither of them will be dressed for work, and they don't leave in the direction of the station

He'll have a big hand at the small of his boyfriend's back and he pilots him through the store, keeping close

And not gonna lie, it's hilarious watching two grown people shuffle like they're two halves of one idiot

The redhead puts his head on the Turk's shoulder and leans back against him like the Turk is a full body support

They get their coffees with arms around each other's waists

So it's cute, and everyone gets used to it, until one time it's Saturday night and they come through in a very different state

It's pouring rain out which is why no one notices so much at first

The redhead comes in and he looks as a much a drowned wererat as everyone else

He's stumbling around but his expression isn't exactly bliss

There's bandages clearly visible wrapped around his chest

(He never wears his shirt buttoned on the best of days)

But the real problem is, when he turns around, it becomes apparent some of those bandages are *red*

Tip's the only one on reg and they're the Cleanliness Captain too (the manager's latest invention, but they take it seriously)

Tip is halfway to freaking out about someone *standing there bleeding* before The Turk comes busting in to catch his partner

He looks all fucked up too

The redhead's eyes aren't quite focusing right and The Turk catches his arms, careful as death

The Turk's face is a ruin, one whole side so swollen he's barely recognizable

He mumbles something to his partner out of the good side of his mouth, something like "no, wrong way"

And Tip is just standing there frozen because they know where the First Aid kit is, they are supposed to know all kinds of things, but all they can actually do is stare

There's a twinkling glow around both of them, like real actual materia

The Turk apologizes, and they leave

And then Tip has to report it because technically someone was in the store bleeding (although it's nothing a Cleanse mop can't fix), and so of course everyone hears about it immediately

Everyone keeps their eyes peeled for an update, but the Turk and his bf don't come for days

When one of them does show, it's the redhead again, blissed out and wearing a shirt three sizes too big

He picks up all his little snacks and floats up to reg

And bc Tip is new, and bc Tip has no sense of self-preservation, they ask: what the heck was that

And is everyone okay

And the redhead gives them the biggest, spaciest grin and says yeah, everything is 'in-fuckin'-credible'

Apparently concussions 'shake your brain sideways'

And Cures either 'fuck you up' or 'knock Rude tf out'

And that's how the bodega goes from The Turk to The Turks, plural