1/8 Physical and mental health: A thread. Beautiful mornings like today always make me reflect on how things were before my life changed so dramatically on May 4th 2018. I used to really enjoy running and, like many, found it hugely beneficial for both my physical and mental

2/8 wellbeing. A run before work used to clear my head and set me up for the day. When the surgeon told me post-op that there was a good chance I would never walk again, it felt surreal, as though I had heard his words but they were not being directed at me! My response was

3/6 "We'll see." Lying in that hospital bed, unsure what the future would bring, I didn't feel helpless, I didn't really dwell on the 'why me' question, I just thought 'right, it's happened. You either accept it and get stronger, or dwell on it and suffer.' I chose the former.

4/8 It was tough, still is! Losing the ability to do something that had come naturally to me for four decades was almost impossible to comprehend; learning to crawl again at 47 is not a good look, I can tell you But, after a few weeks, there was a flicker, a glimmer of hope

5/8 And that was all I needed Nerve damage, especially to the extent I experienced, is a difficult thing to deal with. Bones heal, nerves may, or they may not. You're left with crippling neuro cramps, daily pain and the frustration of your brain telling your foot to do what

6/8 it has always done, but it being unable to do so I have not yet been able to replicate the mental 'cleansing' a nice outdoor run would give me, I hope that one day I will get that opportunity once more; it's not for the want of trying I can tell you

7/8 This morning, I went on a 20min walk to enjoy the fresh air and blue sky. I had to stop twice and remove my trainer as my brain was telling me the my toes were curled under my foot (like a clenched fist); they weren't but that is the thing with nerve damage, odd signals

8/8 get sent! I hope this thread gives a little insight into a hidden disability and wish you all a happy Saturday, whatever you are doing. An afternoon watching sport beckons #physio #neuro #caudaequinasyndrome #strength #wellbeing #nevergiveup