My parents dah bercerai for almost 3 years. Bermaksud dah almost 3 tahun juga my dad single. I know he deserves to know someone new. I do know that he’s not mine 100%. We had a strong relationship back then but I destroyed them back in 2018.

It has never been the same talking to my dad. I cuba but it never worked. Whenever someone asked/told my dad about marrying someone new, my dad will be like, “kamalia pegang lesen, dia tak kasi”.

It’s time to let go. It’s time to realise that my dad is not 100% mine. It’s time to let him find someone to take care of him. I can’t be there always for him, things have been awkward since 2018.

I cried a lot back in 2018, alone. I screamed alone in this house. I want to let him go but it’s not easy. Whenever someone talks about getting married again with my father, I can never hide how I hate that topic.

But I know, I can’t control him. It’s been 3 years. Sama macam mana sometimes I want my own happiness/privacy, he deserves that too. I’ll try to let him go. But I might not be able to always be by his side. Because I’m bad when it comes to hide my feelings.

Remember when I was thinking whether I should go back to Kajang (so I have a bigger space to do my business)? I think I have the answer now. I akan balik ke Kajang and my dad stay dekat Seremban. So my dad don’t have to worry so much about me.

I want him to feel free to know someone new. Of course I’ll come back to Seremban once in a while. But maybe not always. This is the best way I could think of.

To anyone that knows my dad, I appreciate that this thread tak sampai ke my dad. I just wanna write this down. And I just hope that some of you can understand that I’m struggling too.

For some people, nak bercerita about their parents yang dah bercerai can be quite sensitive. Tapi pada I, I’m totally okay talking about it. Because I know it’s for the best. And only us, the kids, tahu apa yang betul-betul terjadi.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day

I love you so much, ayah. How I wish I can turn back time. How I wish we can be like how we used to be. I will try my best to let you go. You can find your own happiness, ayah. (ps ; don’t worry, I am still okay with my dad, I bodek him selalu )