Here's a conspiracy theory I just invented: I don't think narwhals existed before 2004. Every child I know has sophisticated opinions about narwhals. Meanwhile, an informal poll of GenXers reveals that none of us have any recollection of EVER hearing about narwhals as kids.

The fact that GenXers would have somehow just missed narwhals beggars belief. The main obsessions of GenX girls were (a) dolphins and (b) unicorns. Don't you think if DOLPHIN UNICORNS existed, someone would have mentioned them to us? Unless narwhals didn't exist before 2004.

Nowadays, you can't escape narwhals. My household contains at least 7 objects with narwhals on them. No one in the family feels particularly strongly about narwhals (until me, now, I guess). Narwhal swag just shows up when kids are nearby in the 2010s and 2020s.

This Wikipedia entry reads like a legendary backstory whipped up in 2004 by Terry Pratchett and @neilhimself when they were absolutely blotto. Ghost Douglas Adams may have been involved. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narwhal 

The Museum of Natural History in D.C. has this weird little side room dedicated to narwhals. It's not part of the main exhibit. They just stuck those dudes in a refurbished broom closet after the fact. Why? Probably because they didn't exist before 2004.  https://naturalhistory.si.edu/exhibits/narwhal-revealing-arctic-legend

Listen, it's possible I have the exact date wrong. It could have been as early as 1999 or as late as 2009. But somebody retconned narwhals into our timeline in the early/mid 2000s. I don't know how. I don't know why.

As with all conspiracy theories, you are welcome to try to refute mine, but all evidence to the contrary will only be jujitsued into confirmation of the theory. (For more on this phenomenon, read  @notjessewalker—and wish him a happy birthday today!)  https://reason.com/2020/07/12/from-antifa-to-ufos-one-joke-can-spawn-a-thousand-conspiracies/

In conclusion, narwhals didn't exist before 2004, and you can't convince me otherwise. Thank you for coming to my @TEDTalks