Today my 6yr old daughter unprovoked asked my friend “Aunty Thuli, do u know what adoption is?”. She was 3yrs old when she came home from school and asked me abt being in my tummy. I had to move past the anxiety of the moment and plant the seed of love. A Thread.. #adoption

1/11 When you adopt you are encouraged to be honest and tell your child that they are adopted from as early as possible. Don’t keep it a secret. Secrets are associated with a bad thing. Your process to being a family is not a secret, it’s not a bad thing!

2/11 Prior to adopting, I went to see a therapist, I attended adoption workshops to help prepare me. I was given somewhat of a “script” on how to talk to my child about being adopted when the time came. When will “the time” be?. No-one knows, not even you...it just comes!

3/11 My daughter was 3 when she came back from school and asked “mama, how was I as a baby when I was in ur tummy?”. It came out of nowhere and I was busy cooking supper, not really paying attention but at that moment I KNEW!

4/11 I knew that it was a significant time, that i cudnt brush it off, even though I wanted to! So I stopped what I was doing, gave her all my attention and told her about OUR story, how and why we were brought together.

5/11 That conversation is not a once off thing, u have to keep having it. Sometimes it comes up when u not in the mood. Sometimes u’ll feel VERY awkward repeating it, but u have to keep telling it to them, over and over

6/11 They are children, sometimes they’ll get it, sometimes they won’t. Sometimes they’ll keep asking u the same questions or forget. Sometimes as the parent u’ll be too tired to respond, or too awkward and anxious and that’s OK!! Just keep sharing their story lovingly when u do

7/11 So, back to my daughter asking my friend about what she knows about adoption...I do my best in rooting my child in love, in making her truth available to her and making sure she’s confindent in it.

8/11 She explains adoption to my friend as “I was in another mommy’s tummy and the Dr took me out of her tummy. My mommy (me) prayed for me and God gave me to her because she wanted a baby and she is the best mommy ever” (her words ).

9/11 I LOVED what she said. HOW she said it got me clutching my non-existent pearls!!! She was so joyful, so confident, she relayed it as though she was talking about her daily playground happenings. And thats how normal it shud be.

10/11 My child is adopted and she knows that, she also knows that she is loved. She is as delightful as she is insufferable, just like any other 6yr old.

11/11 Shameless plug: To learn more about the our adoption process and being an adoptive parent, please check out my new blog on http://uthandolwethu.co.za . #adoptionisanoption #adoption

This vid was taken last yr, we were coming back from her friend’s party and she just randomly started telling me about her adoption story. I had to stop & take a vid to send to my mom coz her and Granny Yopho are like 2 peas in a pod Moms was also my nr 1 supporter throughout