Thread by @soveryqueer, desexualisation ≠ asexuality "X makes ppl think group Y is asexual"1. that [...]

queerio

soveryqueer

desexualisation ≠ asexuality

"X makes ppl think group Y is asexual"

1. that would not necessarily be a problem for you if you didn't think being asexual was bad*

*it is, of course, always bad to assume that any group of people is a monolith. But that's not specific to asexuality only.

2. regardless of which group/community you're talking about, some people in it will be asexual (unless you're talking about allos specifically)

3. asexuality is about attraction and does not automatically dictate whether someone can, does, or wants to have sex

and ime that's what people's (harmful) assumptions are usually centered on:

not "this person must not feel sexual attraction (but may still have sex)"

but rather "this person must be unable to have or enjoy sex" and/or "I can't imagine this person being sexually desirable to others"

and that's desexualisation, not asexuality

Desexualisation (like sexualisation) takes away someone's agency in order to present them in a certain way (regardless of whether that's how they want to be seen).

I see this a lot wrt disability where people go "disabled people aren't asexual!"

and of course not all disabled people are asexual!

But *some* are, and that's okay! I'm disabled and ace and that's not harmful to the community! My being ace is not a problem!

Desexualisation, on the other hand, *is* a problem because it takes away your ability to define and express yourself.

Anyways tune in again whenever for a breakdown of why "of course they have sex, they're human!" is also not a great thing to say lol

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