CW: Sex
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A thread on asexuality, sex and sexual expression:

Sex, the act, is something most people believe they understand completely. By simply saying the word, an image can be conjured up. For many, this image is typically both cis and heterosexual.

This image has been the "standard" for so long that any deviation from it is taboo. No matter how much progress is made people still have very narrow understandings of what sex looks like. It's homophobic, transphobic and ableist.

There are unspoken assumptions about sex, who has it and with whom, who does what, etc. Sex look like whatever you want it to look like. When it comes to asexuality, sex can look very different. Cuddling and kissing could count as sex for some. In fact it does for many aces.

The belief that penetration is essential to sex is bigoted. Queer people's sex is not any less due to the lack of penetration. Asexuals who are sex favorable may not want to have that kind of sex. Sex for them could not even involve genital contact.

People have the right to define sex in a way the reflects their experiences and identity. There are sex repulsed asexuals who may view kissing as sexual and not cuddling. I say this because there is already so many misconceptions around asexuals and sex. It is frustrating to see.

How you define sex, will determine your understanding and attitude on it. Viewing all asexuals as prudes who hate sex is very dismissive of how our experiences vary and takes away our agency in deciding for ourselves how we view our relationship with sex.

Sexual expression is not limited to sex. It branches out to clothing, diction, and how you socialize with others. Many people try to police what asexuals wear and how we interact with others. A flirtatious asexual and an asexual who wears "skimpy" clothes are dismissed as fake.

"How can you be asexual when you are flirting with so many people? You're just trying to be special." "How can you be asexual when you're wearing barely any clothing. You're clearly asking for it." These statements are incredibly damaging to aces. It hurts allos indirectly.

Assuming that certain types of social interaction and/or clothing are inherently sexual harms everyone. Asexual people are allowed to wear whatever we choose. We do not owe you anything. We have no obligation to perform in a way that is palatable for you.