Had no plans, so decided to bike from Manchester to Wigan.

A checklist of events on my 3 hour (yes it took me that long - you’ll see why) journey include:

• Setting off and immediately turning around because I forgot my mask (2020 hey)

•I was pulled over by the police, because I took a wrong turn and ended biking down the hard shoulder of the motorway

•Was slowly escorted back down the aforementioned motorway

•Burst my back tire, and my noob ass had no idea, for a good half an hour

• Convinced a (lovely) man to help me pump my tire back up

•He ended up replacing the whole inner tube for me (whatever that means)

•Started biking off, happy as Larry, and this man HAD TO GET IN HIS CAR AND CHASE ME DOWN THE ROAD, because I’d left before he could screwed my wheel back on, and it was about to come flying off.

•His kids were chasing me on their bikes, shouting for me and everything.

•My wheel was reattached. And this was the happiest I ever was during this. Surely nothing else could go wrong...

•(more things went wrong)

• So, I was following maps on my phone, and on Apple maps (unless I can’t see it) there’s no option for biking route. So I figured ‘I’ll just use walking route. Where you can walk - you can bike surely?’

• OH NO. I ended up on like a country walk route.

•biking up muddy, steep hills, on my terrible bike. Horses staring at me, as wade trough the mud in trainers and jeans. Holding my bike above my head.

•I make it out of this (probably a field, but to my mind a) swamp. Looking at the map, it’s only road ahead

•Oh no, dear reader, he’s only gone and done it again. I’d burst my back tire. AGAIN.

•Sweating, Muddy, and above all else, emotional. I just biked the last 40 minutes, with a flat tire.

•Made it to Wigan, had a Diet Coke and bruschetta. Got the train back.

What have I learned?

You can get a £100 fine for riding a bike on the motorway.
Always bring three inner tubes.
And I should retake my cycling proficiency

Here’s a bonus video of me, mid country walk section. (Note the horses)