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Had no plans, so decided to bike from Manchester to Wigan.
A checklist of events on my 3 hour (yes it took me that long - you’ll see why) journey include:
A checklist of events on my 3 hour (yes it took me that long - you’ll see why) journey include:
• Setting off and immediately turning around because I forgot my mask (2020 hey) 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😷" title="Gesicht mit Mundschutz" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Mundschutz">
•I was pulled over by the police, because I took a wrong turn and ended biking down the hard shoulder of the motorwayhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🛣" title="Autobahn" aria-label="Emoji: Autobahn"> https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🚨" title="Polizeiautos mit drehendem Licht" aria-label="Emoji: Polizeiautos mit drehendem Licht">
•Was slowly escorted back down the aforementioned motorwayhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😳" title="Errötetes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Errötetes Gesicht">
•I was pulled over by the police, because I took a wrong turn and ended biking down the hard shoulder of the motorway
•Was slowly escorted back down the aforementioned motorway
•Burst my back tire, and my noob ass had no idea, for a good half an hour https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🚲" title="Fahrrad" aria-label="Emoji: Fahrrad">
• Convinced a (lovely) man to help me pump my tire back uphttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❤️" title="Rotes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Rotes Herz">
•He ended up replacing the whole inner tube for me (whatever that means)https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🛠" title="Hammer und Schraubenschlüssel" aria-label="Emoji: Hammer und Schraubenschlüssel">
• Convinced a (lovely) man to help me pump my tire back up
•He ended up replacing the whole inner tube for me (whatever that means)
•Started biking off, happy as Larry, and this man HAD TO GET IN HIS CAR AND CHASE ME DOWN THE ROAD, because I’d left before he could screwed my wheel back on, and it was about to come flying off. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😳" title="Errötetes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Errötetes Gesicht">
•His kids were chasing me on their bikes, shouting for me and everything.https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😩" title="Mattes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Mattes Gesicht">
•His kids were chasing me on their bikes, shouting for me and everything.
•My wheel was reattached. And this was the happiest I ever was during this. Surely nothing else could go wrong...
•(more things went wrong)
•(more things went wrong)
• So, I was following maps on my phone, and on Apple maps (unless I can’t see it) there’s no option for biking route. So I figured ‘I’ll just use walking route. Where you can walk - you can bike surely?’ https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🚶♂️" title="Gehender Mann" aria-label="Emoji: Gehender Mann"> https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🚴♂️" title="Radfahrender Mann" aria-label="Emoji: Radfahrender Mann">
• OH NO. I ended up on like a country walk route.https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🌲" title="Immergrüner Baum" aria-label="Emoji: Immergrüner Baum">
• OH NO. I ended up on like a country walk route.
•biking up muddy, steep hills, on my terrible bike. Horses staring at me, as wade trough the mud in trainers and jeans. Holding my bike above my head. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🌳" title="Laubbaum" aria-label="Emoji: Laubbaum"> https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐴" title="Pferdegesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Pferdegesicht">
•I make it out of this (probably a field, but to my mind a) swamp. Looking at the map, it’s only road aheadhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😍" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit herzförmigen Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit herzförmigen Augen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😍" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit herzförmigen Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit herzförmigen Augen">
•I make it out of this (probably a field, but to my mind a) swamp. Looking at the map, it’s only road ahead
•Oh no, dear reader, he’s only gone and done it again. I’d burst my back tire. AGAIN.
•Sweating, Muddy, and above all else, emotional. I just biked the last 40 minutes, with a flat tire.
•Made it to Wigan, had a Diet Coke and bruschetta. Got the train back.
•Sweating, Muddy, and above all else, emotional. I just biked the last 40 minutes, with a flat tire.
•Made it to Wigan, had a Diet Coke and bruschetta. Got the train back.
What have I learned?
You can get a £100 fine for riding a bike on the motorway.
Always bring three inner tubes.
And I should retake my cycling proficiencyhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😊" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🚴♂️" title="Radfahrender Mann" aria-label="Emoji: Radfahrender Mann">
You can get a £100 fine for riding a bike on the motorway.
Always bring three inner tubes.
And I should retake my cycling proficiency
Here’s a bonus video of me, mid country walk section. (Note the horses)
