Hello faggets not that anyone cares but I’ve decided to do this cause like a said I’ve nothing better to do. Starting off with ‘The Force Awakens’ I shall be live tweeting my opinions on this travesty of a movie x https://twitter.com/hausofliam/status/1301805001740873728

I will start off saying that this is the best of the three sequel movies. With that being said - it’s also just a remake of ‘A New Hope’ with slight variations on the plot details so it’s nothing spectacular x

Like literally opening the movie by giving a piece of vital information that both good and evil sides to a quirky loveable droid.

The “comedy” they try to do between Poe and Kylo is god awful like who thought that was funny

Oh look another sandy planet with a lonely teenage character waiting for something bigger than themselves to come along haven’t heard that one before

Poe Dameron is also hands down the most bland one note character in the whole franchise, even Jar Jar had more interesting qualities

19 minutes in and they ruin the entire potential character development of Finn by having him break Poe out not because he actually has a heart but because he needs a pilot. Well done Disney you’ve failed a poc character already x

There’s no way Finn didn’t get space Cholera from drinking that dirty ass water sis needs some medical attention after that

So let me get this straight Rey was left as a child on Jakku but someone knows how to fly? Also if the slaves don’t have the wee bombs in them like Anakin did then why don’t they all just fly away?????

Also how did they get away fae Jakku if The First Order had a whole ass starship orbiting the planet

Did the New Republic know about the First Order building Star Killer base and just not care or did they literally have nae clue

Pretty sure Luke burned Vader’s body including his mask so how in the name of Shmi Skywalker did Grandaddy issues get a hold of it in one piece

And on that note how did Ms Maz get ahold of Anakin/Luke’s lightsaber cause that bitch got yeeted from a heigh at cloud city if I remember correctly

Would that weapon not have to have spectacular accuracy and power to travel across hundreds of light years and destroy multiple planets. Something ain’t adding up here

Kylo must’ve went to hogwarts and learnt apparition cause one second he’s watching StarKiller base fire it’s weapon and the next he’s landing at Maz’s castle

Question time again, so how did Poe 1. Survive the crash and get away without anyone realising 2. Not die of thirst or exhaustion on Jakku 3. Get back to the resistance base to get patched up and then back to Takodana to fight

I will say the absolute highlight is my man C-3PO coming in with the jokes. Genuinely the only funny moment of the trilogy

Adam Driver is an absolute eye-sore they seriously couldn’t have got anyone a wee bit cuter

Oh look there’s Snoke, can’t wait to find out who he is and get an interesting background/origin story

How ironic, the rebel I mean resistance base is the next target and they’ve only got one shot to do it and it’s gonna be one in a million who woulda seen that one coming x

Very curious how a planet/weapon that uses a literal sun for power has a climate where it’s snows all the fucking time

What annoys me is how Captain Phasma is meant to be some badass female villain that we’ve not really seen in the main movies yet in this movie she’s not done anything remotely threatening or interesting

Harrison Ford was on the right track when he got killed off so he didn’t have to suffer for another two movies

I think Kylo needs to go to anger management she seems a little unhinged x