Let’s talk about the casual homophobia in the LGBT community. (Thread)

For starters, a quick disclaimer, this thread is talking about the experiences of gay men and bi men specifically, and my intention is not to belittle or invalidate the struggles of other people, nor to generalise anyone. If i say something out of line, please pull me up on it.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s start with gay men - specifically the use of their terms, flags, and other related things.

I’m sure you’re all well aware of the Umbrella term argument, arguing that the word gay is a way to refer to anyone who experiences SGA, or on the more inclusive end, anyone outside of the sexual/romantic “norm” (including trans people.)

This belief is so common now that many of us, including myself, feel the need to specify what kind of gay we’re talking about when we’re talking specifically about the struggles or experiences of men who are solely attracted to other men.

We shouldn’t have to.

The fact that “gay” can mean anything from homosexual, to bisexual, to trans or even asexual isn’t fair, while every other group in lgbt, or even outside of, has their own exclusive term(s). Why is that? and why is it considered unfair when we ask to have our own exclusive term?

Additionally, we don’t have an officially recognised, nor widely used flag, and we don’t have a single day of visibility, history, ect.

( here’s a list of lgbt awareness periods for anyone interested. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_LGBT_awareness_periods )

Continuing on, i can see how someone would argue these things arent homophobia as much as theyre simply unfair coincidences, or unfortunate results of past mistakes, yada yada, so here’s a few other things:

1. there’s a distinct lack of diversity when it comes to mlm content, positivity and representation, said lack of diversity most likely fuelled by stereotypes considering that much of our “representation” (both inside and outside of lgbt spaces) is a white, ablebodied, feminine+

traditionally attractive teenager. on both sides this is often all we ever get to see, when there’s so much more.
additionally allow me to mention the fact that so many mlm relationships are portrayed alongside crime, addiction, violence or tragedy. why is that?

2. the sexualisation of mlm relationships is still highly normalised, or at the very least brushed under the rug when it comes to criticism inside the community.
i’m sorry, but if you aren’t mlm, you really shouldn’t be indulging in sexualised, fetishised mlm content.

this isn’t to say that mlm ships, fan fiction, content, ect, shouldn’t be enjoyed by everyone, it should! but content made to fetishise, sexualise, or take advantage of us shouldn’t be read by people who aren’t mlm. simple as that.

additionally, mlm content, mostly that of a sexual nature, shouldn’t have an industry saturated by people who arent mlm. there’s a consistent lack of understanding in how our relationships work, and mlm creators should be prioritised in an industry that directly involves them.

3. mlm are not “less oppressed” than other people in the lgbt community. please stop saying that. oppression olympics and the implication one or many groups are more or less oppressed than other marginalised groups is a pointless and counterproductive comparison.

don’t even TRY to tell us we already have all our rights, or that we have less to worry about. don’t continue to push our struggles away because you believe them to be lesser than everyone else’s.

i’m happy to see less and less people thinking like that, though.

And last but absolutely not least, it’s NEVER fucking appropriate to be homophobic under the guise of hating men. our sexuality is not something we should ever be insulted for, and if the idea of two men in a relationship makes you uncomfortable then you have so much to work out.

Even if you’re lgbt, some of y’all need to work out that shit you have going on because it genuinely isn’t cute or funny. stop demonising gay men and bi men for our attraction to men. we’re sick of it. and it’s so angering to see it from a community that we’re meant to be safe in

Thanks for reading if you did! apologies for how long it is and how heated it may come off as. been a while since i wrote one of these.