#ARMYREALTALK the image below is the reason I decided to have this #realtalk . This will probably be the shortest real talk I've made, since I decided to do this thread and then later on an actual article on the subject+

The article will go more in depth into the actual issues at the base of some of the problematic behaviors that we deal with in the fandom such as acute delusional shipping, unrealistic projections, borderline sexual harassment attitude towards the boys and more+

The thread today however will focus on respect and understanding as well as my own personal thoughts on some of the behavior that make a lot of us uncomfortable especially when acted in association with the boys. Before I get into it, I'd like to clarify and straighten up a few +

Things. I'd like to start by saying that I agree 100% with the K-Diamond in the screenshot and I was quite angry especially because I've myself personally witness people posting sexually extreme content in the comments under youtube videos, under twitter posts, +

And places that the boys might see and that absolutely makes me so angry. Not because of the content but because of the fact that people don't seem to know the time and place for things to happen. You see my problem is not with the content itself, my problem is with +

The lack of decorum and the absolute lack of respect and common sense when it comes to posting the content. I've always said this, I am a lover of ART in all its form as it is a form of expression. There is no right or wrong way of expressing yourself, only +

Right or wrong time, right or wrong place, right or wrong audience, and right or wrong message, right or wrong intent.

Let's start with fanfiction, sexual and non sexual.

Fanfiction is a creative outlet, it is a form of self expression, good or bad, sexual or not+

The author or the fan is expressing themselves in a way that makes sense to them. Expressing their dreams, their fantasies, their desires, which are perfectly human characteristics and I honestly believe that no one has any rights to tell anyone what is ok or not ok to write +

However, just like you wouldn't show your children two people having sexual intercourse when they are still in the developmental phases, and/or you wouldn't really sit down in front of your parents and explain to them all of your sexual prowesses and fantasies, just like+

You wouldnt want to know the sexual fantasies that a total stranger is having of you in their heads while watching you walk down the street, or while watching you sunbathing at the beach, just like you dont wanna know how many times said stranger has touched themselves to +

Fantasies of you, I believe you shouldn't expect that the boys of BTS will want to know about those fantasies that you have about them either, not only that, we're a super diverse fandom age wise as well so just like you can go to their mvs and post those nasty comments +

Or under their tweets and post your thirst comments, trust that there's a kid out there reading those comments, and those sexual fantasies of yours. Now am I saying people shouldn't post their crazy sexual fanfictions? Absolute not, people should be able to express themselves +

And voice their desires whichever way they want to do it. However, the place for that isn't unde BTS posts for them to chance upon, or under their youtube posts. Thirsts tweets are completely fine, hard stans are awesome, imo they make things interesting, but like i said+

There's a time and place for everything. And there's also something called respect, put yourself in their shoes before you post that Comment somewhere they can see it, think about how they might perceive it before you post that. Now for the longer shipping fanfics and fantasies+

I again have no issues with those there is an audience for these things, its a normal part of fandom, a normal part of having an imagination however, i find that sole people take it to an extreme and thats when we have shipping wars delusional behavior that is not only harmful +

To The artist (who becomes the object of the obsession and often ends up being saddled with the emtional burden) but also to the fandom and to the fan him/herself because what that does is open the door to all sorts of mental imbalance and loss of a sense of reality. Like this +

Young lady below (one extreme case imo) who seems to think that she is engaged to V +

Or the people who wholeheartedly believe that members are dating each other and make it their mission to look for "clues" that it is indeed true, creating videos to convince others of the veracity of these pairings. (Dont get me wrong the members of bts are allowed to date who+

Ever they please, including each other). But it is not our place as fans to dig into their private/romantic/sexual lives or history. If they do not share these private informations with us we should abstain from digging into those why?

Well it is the same principle as +

Well think about it. Why do we have a problem with sasaengs, why do we as fandom have an issue with paparazzi trying to catch the boys going about their private lives and have a problem with people invading their privacy. Because it is precisely that, an invasion of privacy+

Imagine yourself in their place. Having someone, a complete stranger look at your every move and analyze them to determine if you're fucking (i will not be pulling any punches, reality check) your best friend or not, trying to find out who you're dating or not, commenting+

On your sexual desires and preferences with the only justification that they enjoy your work, imagine that. How creepy is that on a human level. Now dont get me wrong, people make observations all day everyday about others based on the way they act or seem however+

I dont believe it is considered acceptable to take those observations as facts and turn them into whole life documentaries on youtube trying to convince other people that these observations are in fact reality.

Even if those "ships" were real, the fact that the boys themselves+

Have a right to their secrets and their privacy doesn't change. They share so much of themselves with us already so why keep digging and demanding more? Why do you expect them to be ok with something that would make you a human being like them feel absolutely discomfited+

Knowing what you know of their culture and of who they are as people, because if you call yourself a fan/ARMY you should know enough to understand these things and in their position what exactly do you think you would do?

I've heard this argument, well they are celebrities +

Its part of the job.
And that sounds exactly like the mentality that the rapline was criticizing in UGH. Because hate comments aren't the only harmful content out there to artists. They have parents, friends and family who read this shit and see this stuff on the internet +

And again when the delusion piles up, and you have hundreds or thousands of people believing this crazy shit, watching those videos and spreading them what exactly do you think it is that someone close to them is gonna feel?

Well it aint that deep! (I've actually+

Heard people say that smh). Well ok like I said, put yourself in their shoes and see if it aint that deep to you if you had at least one person in your life spreading rumors about you and walking around analyzing and judging your every step to feed their own little fantasies +

Multiply that by 1, 000, 000 or however many of you delulus are out there.

Now notice i said delulus, like i said there is nothing wrong with shipping as long as you understand and make it clear to other that this is merely fantastical and not something to be taken for truth+

Because there is a difference between serious speculation and just jokingly speculating and having fun with one's imagination, like the difference between teasing your friend about liking a boy in the neighborhood and straight up insisting that they are sleeping together and +

Spreading rumors about them and such. Its clearly different but for some reason some people can't seem to grasp the difference between the two.

No matter how you put it, the second one is crazy and harmful behavior so people should absolutely not engage in it imo+

You see, we are all sexual beings (even asexual men/women) and beings of curiosity so it is only natural that we have these sexual thoughts and imagine things, its a part of life, it doesn't stop until we pass away, desires and wishes, and projecting them unto other people +

This need to experience things and know things especially things that are unknown to us or out of our reach. However, there's a healthy balance to everything and some of us take it too far. And the boundaries are not as ambiguous and as complicated as you'd think.+

Our ethical reasoning and understanding may vary but what cannot vary is the fact that we all go through the same emotions and these emotions are triggered by much of the same situations. So in order to figure out the boundaries and the limits, try empathizing+

Which is where the word objectification comes in. The reason why these issues occur is because people tend to objectify BTS and celebrities in general, what that means is that instead of seeing them as the human beings that they are, people see them as mere objects +

Things to be purchased, things to be infantalized, things to be sexualized in whatever way they please, things who cannot feel, THINGS not human beings capable of feelings and hurt and embarrassment and this objectification can manifest in different ways and is not+

Always done on the same level (superficially or deeply) and in different forms but it still is objectification and can stop people from empathizing and thus enables that sort of behavior and also the fact that we normalize that objectification is a problem and I do believe +

The same way that we denounce and criticize paparazzi and sasaengs and all kinds of crazy behavior when we see it. We should also beware of that same type of extreme behavior, calling ourselves out when we take things too far and calling others out when they do it as well+

Always, always the first step is empathizing. Thinking would i want this done to me, to my brother, my wife, my kids, my sister, my friends etc...

There's nothing wrong with those shop videos that are obviously just there to show the bond between members but the moment you+

Start crossing into proof videos and start doing all sorts of crazy speculations thats where you know you crossed the line. The moment you start twisting the truth and and start spreading unconfirmed and misguided information you've crossed the line

There's nothing wrong with +

Writing sexual fanfiction and fan fiction and shipping fanfiction in general but make it clear that they are just that and make sure you warn your audience.

Be thirsty, but if you wouldn't make that comment in front of members don't post it where you know they can see it.+

Its that simple.

Also for people who are super uncomfortable with those contents and hard stans (those who stay in their lane i mean) the block and the mute button and curating your tl is for you. Its that simple. If you dont want it around you, remove it yourself.+

Like changing the TV channel or choosing a package that doesn't expose you to things you don't want.

Anyways, so far these have been my thoughts on the subject. Like I said i will go more in depth when I post the article but I wanted to do a bulletpoint overview of some+

Things that have been the source of embarrassment for me and a lot of us in the fandom and that I feel lile we don't talk about enough.

I also think it would make a great video subject, where we can speak to different people in the fandom especially kdiamonds to get their+

Take on this stuff especially from a korean pov.

I grew up in the west so the severity of some stuff might not register to me so I would love to speak to different sides of the fandom on these different fandom practices that often tend to cause infighting and discomfiture.+

Be mindful of others, BTS members are human like yourself, empathize, put yourself in their shoes, and it will make it harder to objectify them and easier to set reasonable boundaries and know your place as a fan. This has been a #ARMYPSA

Leave your thoughts below.

THE END