In other news, today I played the Oregon Trail game on my old iPod touch, and I gave the family OL!family names. The following absurdity ensued:

-Brianna was picked up by an eagle and deposited in a tree, we found her a day later
-I think Brianna wandered off and disappeared 3 separate times?? Bitch is lucky we stopped to look for her
-Faith was fucking mauled by a bear (survived tho, like a queen)

-our wagon was robbed and Claire’s dialogue box literally said “if he touched my vase!!” I’m not even kidding you can’t make this shit up
-Fergus was swallowed by a snake and then spit back out

-We floated down a river in our wagon, and my steering was so shit that I killed Claire, Fergus, and Faith. They all just drowned in a manner of 30 seconds. Right before we got to Oregon. (Sounds like a fic I’d write tho huh)

Jamie and Brianna arrived in Oregon alone. 2/5 party members. Quite a disappointing turnout.