i don’t know how i’ll forgive men & nonblack people for all the times i have had to question my own judgement. it is deeply unnerving to doubt your instincts & the way you see & *know* the world. if i am ever self-assured it is only because i’ve had to confer with other women

am i crazy? am i being too sensitive? am i projecting? of all the things patriarchal & white supremacist conditioning have taken from me that will always be the biggest loss.. the sense of authority over my perception

i am working so hard to trust myself again, to love and revere that which i & countless women have been taught to doubt

it is dizzying to always feel so misunderstood! to constantly have to explain myself! to be misunderstood anyway bc people had a vested interest in denying my assertion(s). to have had no language for this until now. to look back at so much with newfound clarity.