I have an ill family member and multiple people have asked me for that person’s Hebrew name so they can say a prayer of healing. It’s a kind gesture, but it was upsetting. Here’s why:

This family member doesn’t have a Hebrew name, and isn’t Jewish. Actually, half of my family isn’t Jewish. Asking only for a Hebrew name makes it feel like my non-Jewish family isn’t important, or doesn’t deserve a prayer for healing.

I also don’t like the assumption that because I’m very Jewishly involved, I couldn’t possibly have non-Jewish family members.

Not all Jews have Hebrew names, and Jews-by-choice and interfaith families are integral parts of our community. Please don’t alienate us at times when we need our community’s support the most.