My entire life I& #39;ve always been filled with the anxiety of being independent with my thoughts. Questions like: Is this normal? Do other people think like this? Is it this hard for everyone? Fill my head and it& #39;d be validating to know if my struggles are something everybody has.
I get paranoid about having ADHD all the time. I constantly question if I& #39;m just lazy or if I actually have a problem. Is me leaving everything till the last minute just a product of my inactive lifestyle or is it something more?
I get down sometimes and I have to ask myself. Is this normal? When does occasional periods of feeling like garbage become depression? When does the fear of how other people see me become anxiety.
I hate these "if you relate to these, you probably have this" because they feel inherently designed to be as relatable as possible. Because everyone gets those symptoms sometimes. It& #39;s like me browsing WebMD to see if dry skin is a symptom for skin cancer.
Maybe I& #39;m so up on the labeling of these things but that& #39;s because the toolkit to solve them seems so alluring. There& #39;s so much methodology on how to take control of ADHD and yet the solution for laziness is mostly "just work harder lol".
Stuff like amphetamines + anti-depressants are game-changers for some people but I have a view that balances between egotistical and deprecating where I& #39;m constantly on the wire of. "I don& #39;t need those things, I can conquer this myself" to "I don& #39;t have this, I& #39;m just lazy."
People seek a sense of community in their problems. But as someone who& #39;s consistently tried to break the expectations of "the disabled guy", those communities feel strange. I don& #39;t want to seek a sense of identity in being the fat guy, the disabled guy, ect. I want to be Vincent.
I don& #39;t know how to wrap up this thread succinctly but this has been in the back of mind for a while and I& #39;ve always got through things by talking out loud so this is it. I hope at the very least what people get from this is that we do all go through some shit. You aren& #39;t alone.
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