Read on Twitter
on the word femme: a very informative (and long, sorry) thread
i’m a lesbian and for the longest time i believed that butch and femme were terms specifically for the lesbian community. i would get angry at non-lesbians for using these terms because i felt like they were taking something away from us. understand my anger now, because of the
way the lesbian community is excluded and mistreated at times, but i should have taken my time to do my research on queer history. people’s opinions can change, it takes an open mind to recognize your ignorance and properly educate yourself. now i understand that butch and femme
are words that have always been part of queer identities. i’ll be explaining and trying my best to summarize the history i’ve learned on these terms. i’m going to be talking specifically about femme but the term butch falls under this history too and maybe i’ll make a thread on
the history of specifically butch one day. the term femme is used to describe a queer person with a very outwardly feminine gender expression. femme and femininity are closely related but they are not interchangeable. femininity refers to the socially constructed idea of what is
feminine and isn’t necessarily queer whereas femme is, in a sense, the queering of femininity. femininity is often defined in relation to masculinity and defined as its opposite, but femmes don’t see themselves confined in this binary. the term pushes back on misogynistic ideas
that feminized people should be defined through a patriarchal lens or male gaze. femmes are usually queer women but any queer person who embraces traditionally feminine speech, mannerisms and dress can identify as femme. but femme goes beyond gender presentation or aesthetic and
is its own cohesive identity. unless you’re lgbt+ you should not be using femme or identifying with it, as the meaning of it can only be understood through the context of queer expressions of gender and reclamation of femininity. the term originates from a history of
marginalized people who challenge the idea that femininity is natural, compliant and submissive. it breaks the rules. femme is very intentional. it challenges and celebrates femininity. it also recognizes identifying with aspects of femininity but not identifying with the
heteronormative system that trivializes and demonizes them. femme is self aware and it’s about overthrowing societal expectations. it’s a celebration and refiguring of femininity. this is especially true because self-identitifed femmes are all feminized people that experience
being devalued in our patriarchal society. femmes may have any gender identity. some consider femme their gender identity while other femmes may identify as trans women, nonbinary, queer cis women, etc. femme is also an important identify for queer people of color, especially
queer black folk whose gender expression is influenced through the context of a white supremacist society. racism has always been prevalent within the lgbt community. i could get very deep into this and i’ll save that for another day but for now i wanted to at least include a
section on this. despite the intersection of both the queer and black communities and movements, there is a separation that follows the logic of anti-blackness that’s familiar in history. “the black body remains criminal while the queer body moves into the realm of citizenship.”
ueerness is pushed to be defined as anything but criminal, anything but black. and the separation grows even bigger through “gay equals black” analogies, homophobia from leading black community institutions, silence on racial equality from leading LGBT organizations and calls for
safety within gay neighborhoods that target people of color and economically deprived populations. for example, let’s look at the eradication of queer people of color from the neighborhood in which the stonewall inn is located. queer and trans people that populated the area from
the 1960s to 1990s have been forced out through gentrification. specifically increased police presence, insanely expensive rents and the closing down of queer owned businesses being replaced by chain stores. for the white neighbors and white tourists, the erasure of queer people
of color signifies safety. turning the stonewall riots into a whitewashed memory of gay liberation is a cruel undermining of the extremely hard work of queer people of color in history. in essence, these racist systems and policies have led to the mindset that queerness can only
function if it is dispelled from race, class and gender. long story short, femme definitely takes on a specific form of liberation for queer black and poc folks whose queerness is inseparable from their race and the implications of that in society, specifically white supremacist
society. this is why femme identity can also symbolize a rejection of whiteness and decolonized femininity. this is why it can have political implications and be considered a form of resistance. now onto the history. one of the earliest recorded usages in the english language was
in 1814 by lord byron, a bisexual. it was one of the first common usages and evolved from there. it wasn’t until the 1940s-1970s that it was used again and popularized through lesbian bar culture. it became a working class identity, along with butch. at the time however,
bisexuals also frequented these lesbian bars because of society grouped these individuals into one community, the sapphic community. it wasn’t until much later that the much needed separation came so that bisexuals could be recognized as their own sexuality and both lesbians and
bisexuals could have a space of their own. this separation isn’t inherently bad, we’re still strong allies but to clump us into one place without our own spaces is invalidating and an indicator of the violently strong lesbophobia and biphobia that exists to this day, obviously,
but was very much keeping that idea in place. anyways, while lesbians were the frontrunners of those terms and helped popularize it, bisexuals deserve credit in helping popularize it as they were part of that space during that time. the origins of femme were also heavily
influenced by the work of latinx and chicanx activists as well as working class communities of color. another popular historical use of femme (and butch) was through ball culture, which was dominated by LGBT+ youth of color. various terms existed such as butch queen (cis mlm),
femme queen (trans and feminine women), butches (masculine presenting women), butch queen schoolboy realness (cis mlm, “realness” refers to being able to pass as a heterosexual), femme queen realness (trans women), femme queen face (trans women, category highlighting their face),
butch face (masculine women, category highlighting their face), butch queen face (mlm, highlighting their face), femme queen performance (vogue category for trans women). as you can see, there were many variations of the usage of femme (and butch) and it applied to a wide
variety of LGBT+ people. ball culture was a movement and a safe haven for trans, nonbinary and gender non-conforming people of color. again, femme identity is different for every LGBT identity. for example, the way that femme in lesbian communities is understood through the
context of lesbianism and rejection of heteronormativity, and performing femininity for other lesbians rather than men. it has strong ties to the disconnection and freedom that comes from not having to serve or even consider men in gender expression. and how butch-femme
(in lesbian communities) is seen by some as a replication of heterosexual relations but in fact, completely challenges it. in this way, femme can mean something slightly different for lesbians, bisexuals, mlm, etc. but in conclusion, it’s been a part of queer history forever.
it started by a bisexual, was first popularized by lesbians, strongly used in ball culture and remains a strong identity for queer folk who want to embrace femininity and challenge and reject the expectations and stereotypes that come with that.
i hope you enjoyed this information and it helps you reflect. i strongly recommend doing history on lgbt history and i want to make a disclaimer, these aren't my original thoughts, i gathered information from multiple sources and it culminated into this thread :)
