Here is the thing. Is cocaine real? I& #39;ve never seen it. I& #39;ve only heard about it.

I& #39;ve been in SO MANY PLACES that cocaine is purported to be rampant and never seen it. So? Alt theory: I have the countenance of a narc and so it gets hidden when I enter the room.

Listen. I& #39;m just a journalist. Standing in front of Twitter. Asking why no one has ever offered me cocaine.

To be clear, I do heroin ALL THE TIME.

This tweet really blew up (!) so I& #39;m going to mute it so I can get back to the serious business of journalism and this mountain of H. Thank you all for seeing me and dunking on me so rigorously and specifically and accurately. I feel loved today.