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About 3 years ago, I was struggling with the common question of how to treat women as a male. Should I betray my morals and treat like an asshole so that they would be attracted to me? Or should I maintain my principles and hopefully some of them would accept me as a partner?
The fundamental problem with being a nice guy is that, when you get a girlfriend, you always run the risk of becoming a doormat and her losing interest in you in favor of a more "alpha" dude who doesn& #39;t let her step all over them.
Ofc there are ways to avoid being "too nice" and maintain some of her attraction towards you. However, it& #39;s an incredibly slippery slope and would be terribly exhausting in the long run. And some females actively try to manipulate you into giving in when you show-
-resistance to their demands. So you& #39;re always fighting against her and your own "simping tendencies".
Most would argue that not all females act or think like this, and I won& #39;t deny that there probably are some who truly don& #39;t. But I& #39;ve seen one too many relationships-
Most would argue that not all females act or think like this, and I won& #39;t deny that there probably are some who truly don& #39;t. But I& #39;ve seen one too many relationships-
-turn sour after a year or so, because the dude was treating her too nice and she got used to, and dependant on it. It goes without saying that nobody will be attracted to a doormat, or a simp (if you wanna use more modern labels).
There are countless posts online about how to turn from a beta male into an alpha. How to focus more on improving yourself and less on trying to please women, and which in turn would make you more attractive to them.
However, it seems like the alpha mindset has problems of its own as well. These posts go into great detail on how to control women and not to give in to their manipulative strategies, as so to always stay on top of them and maintain the position of authority in the relationship.
They tell us to abandon all pre-conceived notions about the purity of women and our ideas of "true love" because they& #39;re all just fantasies created by women to deceive men into becoming simps for them.
Sounds ridiculous, but this ideology gets worse the deeper you delve into it
Sounds ridiculous, but this ideology gets worse the deeper you delve into it
First off, I won& #39;t deny that there are some truths to what these "alphas" have said. But to demonise the very gender in which they are trying to become attractive to, just sounds incredibly hypocritical and just plain petty.
Secondly, treating a relationship with a female as an ruthless mind-game/struggle for dominance doesn& #39;t sound like a relationship at all. It just sounds like keeping a dog as a pet. And that& #39;s not at all what I& #39;m looking for in a relationship.
So, what is the answer that I& #39;ve settled for? How do I resolve this seemingly unsolvable problem?
Truth is, I don& #39;t.
I chose to withdraw myself from the sexual market and instead use alternative sources of artificial affection to fulfill my needs.
Truth is, I don& #39;t.
I chose to withdraw myself from the sexual market and instead use alternative sources of artificial affection to fulfill my needs.
Yes. I turned myself into something of a shut-in who stans female idols and watches romance animes to appease my own desires.
I& #39;m not without a social life. I have a little too many friends for my liking. (I ignore a lot of them on purpose because I find them annoying)
I& #39;m not without a social life. I have a little too many friends for my liking. (I ignore a lot of them on purpose because I find them annoying)
I have actually rejected 3 girls who& #39;ve made advances on me over these past 3 years. I& #39;m not saying this to boast because I& #39;m not proud of it at all. I& #39;m not proud of the way I rejected them because I know I hurt them. But I had to remain commited to my decision.
All I want is to be nice to people without sexual attraction and emotions getting in the fking way. Some "friends" will still treat me like a doormat, but it& #39;s easier to cut ties with a friend compared to a girlfriend. And I don& #39;t really need that many friends either.
I don& #39;t think I& #39;ve found the best solution, in fact it& #39;s a pretty stupid one. But I& #39;m content right now, and honestly that& #39;s all I care about. I love the people around me and treat them as nice as I want (although I have my limits).
I cut off the ones who& #39;ve turned toxic, after giving them a set number of chances to stop their toxicity, without much hesitation. But I don& #39;t hate them. I just let them go for my own sake.
This thread has gone off the rails twice already. I shall sleep.
