(TW suicide)
I survived a very serious suicide attempt in 2018 and then agreed to undergo electroconvulsive therapy because I figured, what do I have left to lose? Turns out 18 months of my memory, all my PTO and the ability to drive for 3 months while living in the suburbs...

...It helped with the psychomotor retardation but not really anything else. You know what did? Moving somewhere safe that's closer to my friends and community and the financial stability provided by PUA. 100% more effective than having my brain fried.

Was also put on antipsychotics (never experienced psychosis, but they're sometimes prescribed for BPII) that made it an extreme sport to get out of bed every day and made me throw up after every meal. I feel much better being off of them.

Severe mental illness is often like a very high fever-- it is usually your body reacting against something harmful in a way that is supposed to protect you, but sometimes it goes overboard and can kill you. So you have to treat the fever, but you also have to treat the infection.

My living circumstances, in which I found myself thanks to our absolute shit neoliberal late capitalist society, were the infection. We have to help suicidal people improve their lives + ultimately we have to improve society so lives don't get shot to hell in the first place

This is not to say that zero mental illness would exist in a utopia. I am certainly not completely sane and likely never will be. But my mental illness is very manageable now. We need a healthy society to have better mental health.

This is a big reason why I chose social work for grad school- it acknowledges the social determinants of mental health (well, at least in theory) more so than other mental health professions.