i met the love
of my life.
how do i love you?

an odd question but it was my greatest distress. an unfortunate fear that creeped too fast for my liking—popped and said hello and told me that i should shade myself from the sunshine building in my chest.

because i knew that i did not know how to keep you.
the first war was easy enough to concur.

i have rendered my love, i have aquired yours. heartstrings knotted easily, the notes have formed a symphony—and we were happy.

yet that hindrance reminded me that this might as well be a short fantasy.
i am not good in being a partner. i am not good at being a lover. i am not good at being in love.

but i wanted to be the best i can be for you. desired to be able to be more than that, too.

i just wanted to be the one.

the only one for you.
loving you felt as natural as breathing air in a short sudden. and losing you would be the same as to no longer having that oxygen.

you have become the remedy of my sadness, the reason of my happiness, the only one i would ever desire to hold and caress.

and so i was a mess.
an arrow of reminders everyday pierces through me. what if one day the smile i give you turns in to a frown? what if one day it is me that makes you cry instead of your favorite drama movie? what if one day i just ruin this—ruin us—and it all drains down?

how do i love you?
in the way that i know you deserve? in the way that you would never want to slip from my fingertips? in any way it could be, i do not care how absurd.

you are the best everything that has ever happened to me.

i would travel the universe and back; would face my fear of the sea.
i would fill everything that i lack; and do every minuscule thing need be.

as long as i don’t ever lose you—my reason, my gravity.

yet, now, my darling—i have passed this labyrith. you showed me i had nothing to fear. you showed me i was never beneath.
there was never a finish line to achieve nor a mistletoe i had to hold to keep afloat. because you told me that;

i am the best everything that has ever happened to you.

that you would travel the universe and back; would face your fear of the sea.
that you would fill everything that you lack; and do every minuscule thing need be.

as long as you don’t ever lose me, too—your universe, your entirety.

i have nothing to fear or to worry. as i know, for as long as i am with you, you will be with me.
love had become a singular meaning to me—and it is you. i always gazed at this love and i would ask, “how do i not mess this up?”

yet, now i have never been so sure. now i look at you, with all my love and nothing to endure. and i ask, “how can i ever stop?”
twelve months.
365 days.
8760 minutes.

at nandito ka pa rin.

mahal na mahal kita, ligaya.
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