Needed talk on toxic Berlermo headcanons - a maybe ongoing thread

Special thanks to my partner in crime @CCharades, with whom many of these reflections were born during nightly conversations, and to many other wonderful people who used their time to share their opinions with me

TW REFERENCE OF ABUSE

DISCLAIMER: everyone is free to have their own headcanons and their own ideas about certain characters and dynamics. A media content also gives the possibility to interpret scenes as everyone prefers and to use them in the way they deem most suitable.

The reason I find myself here writing this thread is that I think, as in everything, there is a limit. If these ideas do nothing more than perpetrate toxic concepts and romanticize abuse, then there is a problem that needs to be addressed. Media and representation are important

and help to normalize something in the collective (which is why we fight for lgbt representation). By writing about abuse headcanons - which also go against canon material - and romanticizing it without even using the right tags and trigger warnings,

you create a product that will then be read by teenagers and which will influence their view of how a relationship should work. Ever since I joined the fandom in April, I have noticed and read certain attitudes that I previously classified as ambiguous but which I now recognize

as completely toxic. Both in tweets and in fanfictions, there’s a high use of disturbing and alarming patterns. I know that in the fandom there are many young people and that therefore these messages can be transmitted with naivety, but that is precisely why I think there is a

need to talk about it. With this I do not want to stand as a source of wisdom and justice, because maybe I too have said problematic things in the past, but I would like this thread to be taken as a starting point for dialogue and reflection, under which we can talk

and share our conflicting ideas in case there were. Before starting, I will repeat, this is solely my opinion on the matter.

First of all, I think it is necessary to talk about the way in which the character of Martín is perceived by a large portion of the fandom. Although sometimes not explicitly expressed, in a lot of content (I always refer to tweets and fanfictions) there is a strong subtext in

which Martín is seen only as a subordinate of Andrés. His characterization doesn't go beyond what is portrayed as an "obsession", and his behavior is frighteningly submissive in the everyday context. The idea that Martín is a totally passive and weak character that UNDERGOES

Andrés' behavior towards him is often perpetrated. Even when this aforementioned behavior is nothing but abusive, both physically and emotionally, Martín takes nothing to forgive him and to return to bow at his feet. I've read tweets where Martin was referred to as Andres's pet

and how the latter keeps him "on a leash", how he manages to "put him in his place with a look" or how he "throws a bone at him". I don't think it's necessary to explain how what I just described is the perfect explanation of a toxic relationship, and how wrong it is to reduce

one of the show's few openly gay characters to this: nothing but his sexuality, a character with no characterization that needs someone else in order to merely exist. There are often complaints about how directors of TV series tend to create gay characters with the sole purpose

of being gay, but in this case it is the same fandom that does it. If material written with this dynamic were some kind of social critique, I would gladly accept it. The problem here is that the people who write this, believe in it and see it as something to romanticize.

In the show it is remarked that the two are equals, and Martín's personality is very strong from the beginning. He is shown to us as a proud character, and who certainly wouldn't let anyone step on him, not even Andrés. For his own pride he does not confess his feelings for

ten years, also befriending Andrés's girlfriends in the meantime. He is not a passive victim to the situation but, instead, he tries to be superior to it. I want to emphasize that love is not weakness, and his feelings do not make him so.

The second point I wanted to talk about is not as problematic as the previous one but I think it is equally appropriate to mention it. I had already touched on the subject in a tweet and had received mixed feedback. In the fandom it is common to characterize Andrés as someone who

has the constant need to have control and power over everything and everyone. While in some cases it may be a harmless interpretation of his character, in others it is a way to point out once again an abusive power imbalance between the two. On this alleged continued dominance

I will elaborate later on in the thread. The way in which this behavior is represented sometimes takes on really worrying peaks, resulting in abusive behavior also mentioned previously. In some content Andrés comes to have delusions of control or ridicule on Martin, even

inflicting physical harm to him, and all of this is justified because "it is the characterization of the character". Obviously, Martín forgives him in no time. As I said, everyone can interpret the character however they like, but as food for thought I'll report what canon says

on the matter.
Andrés in the last two seasons has numerous speeches in which he talks about how life is made up of unexpected events and how it needs to be lived and enjoyed at the moment. He showed a "carpe diem" approach (even if this term is not really

appropriate to the context) unlike Sergio, who needs to have everything under control. As much as Andrés and Berlin are still fundamentally the same person, they do have a lot of differences for the mere fact that Berlin is nothing more than a defense mechanism.

So yes, Berlin needs to be in power and to have control, because Berlin is a persona that Andrés crafted to survive a really stressful situation that was going to take place during one of the most difficult times of his life. BERLIN needs power imbalance, Andrés doesn't.

Now we’ll get into slightly nsfw context and talk about dynamics in the relationship during sex, so if you're not comfortable, please skip this.

Continuing to talk about Andrés, we come to sex. I would not like to approach the subject with the usual lightness and preferences in the "tops" and "bottoms", but I would like to go a little deeper into the matter. I think it is generally known that in fandom it is practically

a given that Andrés is only a "top" in the relationship (and always maintaining a role of complete dominance), and while in some cases it may be nothing more than someone's preference, in others there is something more disturbing hidden in this thought. Not for the fact per se,

but for the implication behind some people's insistence on the subject. A homosexual relationship is being viewed with the same eyes as a heterosexual relationship. People go to look for the "male" and "female" of the relationship, in a behavior steeped in homophobia.

Furthermore, how was Martín's "role" chosen in the first place? Because of him having emotions? Being openly gay? Because of the headcanon of him who gives gives and gives and Andrés doing nothing but taking? Isn't that maybe the way patriarchy sees and treats women?

If thinking of an active Martín and a passive Andrés makes you deeply uncomfortable, I am sorry to tell you that it is most likely internalized homophobia, or simply pure homophobia.