Truly horrific to see #India press spin a wonderful young actor’s suicide in terrible, feckless, traumatising, irresponsible, unethical ways to distract from the mammoth troubles facing the nation.

UK govt aligned press uses dead cat on the table for this. India, a human being
Unsure about India resources but back in the 90s, I volunteered with Dr. Anchal Bhagat’s Saarthak outfit (which supported production of my 1st play as it focussed on mental health).

Operation Hope suicide prevention hotline was the first then and volunteers were swamped w calls
There were calls from kids as young as eight and nine. I keep thinking back to that.

And I can’t imagine how much harm this utterly unethical coverage is doing to the vulnerable kids
I’ll be honest: I had a really bad moment in the 90s and was on prescription medication for sometime. And needed counselling for much longer.

Many of the triggers were similar: my writing career was stymied (and yeah I saw the ‘nepotism’ too🙄), my life seemed out of control
It took a long time to shake off the dark clpud that followed me around. But even now, I know it lingers just at the edge of my mind.

Counselling gave me skills to ID when I am spiralling and how to stop that but I still seek spot assistance if and as necessary
When the news first broke, I felt that jolt. Recognition, heartbreak, and yes, for one instant, a kind of temptation.

This is really hard to admit but it is also necessary. We developed a whole set of ethics to report on suicide because we KNOW this instant reaction exists.
I muted the hashtags, even the names of people involved. I refuse to read/watch/think about any of it.

It is why I have not mentioned any of the names in this thread
Yet every morning, something sneaks through from my India TL. Mostly, it isn’t direct and often it is critical.

But every morning, I feel that tempting twinge and have to shut it down and lock it away. Every morning, I have to rebuild the walls that keep it shut away.
Some days, it’s ok. Some days, I can RT a critique and even comment. Other days...well, it takes much longer to lock it away and rebuild the defensive walls.

And on those days I have to make sure I don’t get too close to edge where the dark cloud lives
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