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i have so many anxiety related stories from middle school. like the things i would do and say to get out of situations and go to school in general pls 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">
one time i told my mom to buy me an ice cream cone with the full intention of getting a sore throat because i had a presentation the next day and i was scared to go to school. i was stupid and told my brother and he told my dad. i ended up not going b/c i was a daddyâs girl SJSJS
the whole reason i have anxiety is b/c of my dad (i know that doesnât make sense but itâs a long story and i dont like talking about it anyways). when he left my anxiety got worse?? and me along with everyone else thought i didnât want to go to school b/c i was depressed and-
missed my dad. which wasnât true. i mean i missed him but not enough to make me depressed. i was just very anxious. anyways all the way up until like 9th grade no one knew i had anxiety, they thought i was depressed SJSJ i only just got diagnosed with anxiety like 1 1/2 years ago
like thatâs so funny to me??? i constantly watched videos like âwhat is anxiety?â and i always told myself âlol i donât have that. i dont have panic attacks. i dont have this, i dont have that etc.â like... bby not panic attacks but anxiety attacks every morning b4 school???
i didnât catch on myself until late 10th grade. AND EVERYBODY INCLUDING MYSELF FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE UP UNTIL THEN USED THE EXCUSE THAT I WAS SHY PLEASEEEJSJSJ
anyways next story
so anyways i was anxious and i was scared of walking to school alone so my brother walked me halfway there almost every day. one day i really really didnât want to go i was lit rally having an anxiety attack but my brother forced me out of the house.-
he was in highschool at the time and since it took so long for him to take me out of the house it was late for him so he didnât walk me. when he was out of sight i literally ran back homehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht"> i did this multiple times after that day SJSJ
my anxiety just kept getting worse every year and in sixth grade i developed a habit of lying to my mom almost every other day and telling her i was sick: sore throat, stomachache (honestly sometimes this was true because... well anxiety). -
anyways i literally had a doctorâs appointment 3-4 times each monthhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Auge" aria-label="Emoji: Auge">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Mund" aria-label="Emoji: Mund">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Auge" aria-label="Emoji: Auge">
another time i actually tried to make myself sick. i drank a whole glass of water in like five seconds and spun in a circle for an entire two minutes. i saw that didnât work so i tried to make myself throw uphttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="SchĂ€del" aria-label="Emoji: SchĂ€del">-
it didnât work either... https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Auf den Kopf gestelltes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Auf den Kopf gestelltes Gesicht"> so i took beans that were in the fridge, mashed them up and threw a little bit of them into the toilet because i thought my brother or mom would want proof?!?? and they didnât even ask :|
one time during winter i turned on our heater and put the thermometer in front of it. it went too high and i realized if i showed my mom she would take me to the hospital so i just resorted to convince her into letting me stay home.
i was constantly asking to go to the nurseâs office so they would get annoyed with me and call my mom https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Leicht lĂ€chelndes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Leicht lĂ€chelndes Gesicht">
i would go late to school everyday (or the days i would go) because i hated being early. and then it turned into hating being there late and then i had no idea what to do JSJS
one time my mom forced me to go while i was having an anxiety attack and i didnât want my classmates to see me crying so i hid in the bathroom stall until the school therapist found me https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ„°" title="Smiling face with 3 hearts" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with 3 hearts">
i also called my mom a lot during the school day so she could pick me up.
one time my friend pointed out how shaky my hands were. before this i had never even noticed them-
i think about this often and wonder how no one picked up that there was something up with me...?
i think about this often and wonder how no one picked up that there was something up with me...?
i have more stories im sure but i cant think of more right now. i missed out on a lot of experiences. not just in middle school, hs as well. i hate how much control it had over me? and i hate that it took so long for ME to realize there was a problem and that it wasnât depression
i mean obviously i had depression but not until high school. i was actually happy most of the time during middle school, when i wasnât anxious asf. like iâve had this for my ENTIRE life and i only just got help for it-
anyways please try to not let your mental illnesses take control over your life. it caused so many problems with my mom and brother. i mean there were so many times my mom almost went to court because of me. now iâve graduated from hs-
(idk how? also i didnât graduate with my class, i mean technically yes, but also no) and i regret not doing so many things. i just hope i can go to college and do all the things that my anxiety didnât let me do and enjoy :))
this thread is super long. gross. no one is going to read this. whatever it felt good to write and vent about it.
