Read on Twitter
When you have a visible #disability it can be really hard to maintain real life friendships with the ableds.
people take it the wrong way when I say that but Iāve walked into that screen door of life too many times to not know by now 1/?
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="š§µ" title="Thread" aria-label="Emoji: Thread">
people take it the wrong way when I say that but Iāve walked into that screen door of life too many times to not know by now 1/?
Iām not saying people with visible disabilities donāt also struggle with this, but thatās not the kind of condition I have so Iām not trying to speak for them 2/?
The hardest thing is when some routine blind person stuff happens to me like getting loudly kicked out of a store for having a guide dog (this is illegal but it still happens on the reg) or the fact that everyone is using absentee ballots this year but I canāt 3/?
Because N.C. doesnāt have Braille or large print absentee ballots, so I have to go in person and use the auto mark machine, and when abled bodied people find out about this stuff they just...
They get even more emotional and upset than me and itās not even happening to them? 4/?
They get even more emotional and upset than me and itās not even happening to them? 4/?
I told my old boss that blind people were not allowed to own any property until like the ā40s in a lot of places and he didnāt BELIEVE ME AT FIRST? He was like āthatās so terrible how could anyone have ALLOWED it?!??!ā 5/?
....because they were prejudiced. Next question.
And the thread through all these conversations is that the average person realizes this stuff is bad, but instead of being there/supporting the person thatās actually dealing with it, they center themselves. 6/?
And the thread through all these conversations is that the average person realizes this stuff is bad, but instead of being there/supporting the person thatās actually dealing with it, they center themselves. 6/?
It becomes about THEIR emotions, ThEIR reaction to the negative information,
when Iām the person who just got illegally harassed at a restaurant in front of tons of strangers. 7/?
when Iām the person who just got illegally harassed at a restaurant in front of tons of strangers. 7/?
And it happens so routinely that I donāt even feel comfortable bringing up that stuff because then Iāll have to guide this person through all the emotional stages of comprehending ableism
But those events keep happening every day 8/?
But those events keep happening every day 8/?
Iām a lawyer. Every time I go to the courthouse to file a summons or some papers the security guard people freak out about my guide dog https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="š¦®" title="Blindenhund" aria-label="Emoji: Blindenhund"> even though guide dogs are allowed in courtrooms.
That literally happens every time I go to state court 9/?
That literally happens every time I go to state court 9/?
And it is upsetting! TO ME!!! It! Upsets! Me!
But putting my own feelings aside to walk the able-bodied person through their own emotional reaction is exhausting!!!!!!
10/?
But putting my own feelings aside to walk the able-bodied person through their own emotional reaction is exhausting!!!!!!
10/?
Essentially, the only way you can openly talk about your experiences and feelings without having someone else center the conversation on them is with other people with disabilities 11/?
Idk about yāall, but I grew up in a small town and there werenāt a lot of other people in the same boat with me. Once I went to college I met a ton of classmates dealing with the same issues 12/?
So if you donāt have access to those peers, you have to go through life keeping all those parts of your life to yourself, and how close of a friendship will you really have if you canāt openly share a big part of your life? 13/?
The answer is you wonāt!!!
And thatās ok. Not every friendship has to be super deep. Sometimes itās fun to just hang out with people casually every couple weeks and talk about regular stuff 14/?
And thatās ok. Not every friendship has to be super deep. Sometimes itās fun to just hang out with people casually every couple weeks and talk about regular stuff 14/?
But able-bodied people donāt have to carefully weigh their friends personalities before deciding how much of their own life they can acknowledge 15/?
Can this person handle this discussion, even if they claim they want to know? More often than Iād like the answer is no 16/?
Iām not suggesting that you should do a specific thing if youāre the able-bodied person in this scenario. Besides think. 17/?
If you got to the end of this thread Iām surprised https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="š
" title="LƤchelndes Gesicht mit offenem Mund und AngstschweiĆ" aria-label="Emoji: LƤchelndes Gesicht mit offenem Mund und AngstschweiĆ"> but information is good so thanks for listening to my stream of consciousness tweets 18/18
