Can we talk about pain tolerance as a sign of worthiness? That a person’s ability to grit and bear it often signifies their worth.

In the chronic illness community, we do celebrate one another for high pain tolerances that many of us have from chronic, incessant pain /1

We joke that we can handle anything. I certainly have. But in so doing, in emphasizing our ability to bear the pain because we have no choice but to do so, we also bury the vast spectrum of experience with pain.

We also erase disabled/ill people with low pain tolerances. /2

Celebrating our ability to bear pain must also come with an acknowledgement that our ability to do so is deeply embedded in privilege and marginalization.

Bearing pain can not be a prerequisite for being a part of this community. We have to hold space for the full spectrum. /3

We also want to continually remind ourselves that we should not have to bear this pain at all. Physical, emotional, spiritual. Our ability to cope is both an essential tool for our survival but also the most easily weaponized part of disability/illness against others. /4

We must, in no uncertain terms, guard ourselves against wielding pain and our tolerance(s) for it against one another.

Expressions of pain are part of our disabled/ill/Mad culture, and we owe one another celebrations and love for all expressions of that pain. /5

We owe no one stoicism. We must not assume others, especially our beloved community members, owe us theirs. /6