Read on Twitter
good adult friendships are predicated on giving a shit about what other people are thinking about, what they are going through, the shared experiences you hold onto
to uphold these friendships, you don& #39;t ask what people are up to.
you remember the things that are relevant to your convus, what you notice about them (e.g. via social media), and you reveal the things that you remember
this involves vulnerability and admission that you care
you remember the things that are relevant to your convus, what you notice about them (e.g. via social media), and you reveal the things that you remember
this involves vulnerability and admission that you care
you don& #39;t ask questions to hear information
you ask questions to hear context, emotion. it& #39;s not a status update. it& #39;s a pulse check.
how is your friend& #39;s heart? what do they care about in this moment? how do you care for them and their cares?
you ask questions to hear context, emotion. it& #39;s not a status update. it& #39;s a pulse check.
how is your friend& #39;s heart? what do they care about in this moment? how do you care for them and their cares?
you also reveal things about yourself proactively. things that you think the other person will care about given your shared context
this is not self indulgent. this is making it easier for people to meet you where you& #39;re at.
if you ask people questions, answer them yourself
this is not self indulgent. this is making it easier for people to meet you where you& #39;re at.
if you ask people questions, answer them yourself
it& #39;s all about creating edges for connection.
people relate to different things depending on where they& #39;re at, and you never really know exactly where someone is at, which is why putting the soft stuff out there creates opportunity for edge formation
people relate to different things depending on where they& #39;re at, and you never really know exactly where someone is at, which is why putting the soft stuff out there creates opportunity for edge formation
tactically, audio messages are a fantastic lever to play with here. i write a lot about audio messages here. you should read it. https://twitter.com/ankitshah/status/1288220360865796096">https://twitter.com/ankitshah...
another good tactic to play with is being a real person on social media.
stop pandering to your brand or ~*~identity~*~.
start being a real person. share imperfect moments. thoughts as they come to you. maybe record videos of yourself talking to your friends on IG stories
stop pandering to your brand or ~*~identity~*~.
start being a real person. share imperfect moments. thoughts as they come to you. maybe record videos of yourself talking to your friends on IG stories
note: when executed well, this is easily the best way to scale intimacy in your life.
i have easily over 250 people i can jump right into a connected conversation about what& #39;s going on in our hearts within 2 async messages _because_ they genuinely feel filled on my life context
i have easily over 250 people i can jump right into a connected conversation about what& #39;s going on in our hearts within 2 async messages _because_ they genuinely feel filled on my life context
people reflect to you what you share with them. if you present yourself honestly, they know that your cards are on the table. it is a blank check invitation for them to pour their hearts into the vessel of your friendship
time is not an object
time is not an object
people think too hard about frequency of touch points ("texting every 4-6w") which is the wrong focal pt
nobody thinks about the last time you talked to them
they think about whether they give a shit about you or not, and that& #39;s a function of whether you give a shit about them
nobody thinks about the last time you talked to them
they think about whether they give a shit about you or not, and that& #39;s a function of whether you give a shit about them
that said, beyond audio msgs and being a real person on the internet is the most important lever:
reaching out
telling people you& #39;re thinking of them. more specifically: what you& #39;re thinking about, why you& #39;re thinking about them, how it makes you feel
reaching out
telling people you& #39;re thinking of them. more specifically: what you& #39;re thinking about, why you& #39;re thinking about them, how it makes you feel
you may notice that lots of this about tending to the garden of your friendships is about you
this is a big secret of friendship:
how you show up is everything
people reflect what they experience. make them feel seen, understood, accepted
everything else unfolds from there
this is a big secret of friendship:
how you show up is everything
people reflect what they experience. make them feel seen, understood, accepted
everything else unfolds from there
ok i have to get back to my job, but hope you& #39;ve enjoyed this 5 minutes of twitter ranting about friendship
oh also, read this other rant I wrote about being a "superconnector" if you& #39;re thinking about being a real human person with many deep relationships that aren& #39;t full of shit https://twitter.com/ankitshah/status/1232191237752381440">https://twitter.com/ankitshah...
and if you& #39;re looking for examples of how to be a real person on instagram, feel free to stalk my ig story highlights: http://instagram.com/ankit.fyi
(i& #39;m">https://instagram.com/ankit.fyi... not an influencer or anything, i& #39;m just...myself. and it works. turns out being a person is a great way to connect with people)
(i& #39;m">https://instagram.com/ankit.fyi... not an influencer or anything, i& #39;m just...myself. and it works. turns out being a person is a great way to connect with people)
I used to write an email subject line "the latest" to a group of ~25 friends that sort of knew each other
I& #39;d start with reasons they were all on this email before diving into my ramblings/reflections
lots of em are now closer to each other than to me
https://twitter.com/overdramatique/status/1301146862511165442?s=21">https://twitter.com/overdrama... https://twitter.com/overdramatique/status/1301146862511165442">https://twitter.com/overdrama...
I& #39;d start with reasons they were all on this email before diving into my ramblings/reflections
lots of em are now closer to each other than to me
https://twitter.com/overdramatique/status/1301146862511165442?s=21">https://twitter.com/overdrama... https://twitter.com/overdramatique/status/1301146862511165442">https://twitter.com/overdrama...
