So i spent my entire 3h drive home thinking about misivory and #panicatthequarantinednd and i think i went past the phases of sadness, anger and denial and reached acceptance in embracing the angst

still i will 100% rant now, even tho only a total of four (4) other people will even understand what i'm fucking talking about

you know why i was so FUCKING mad about the audiologs misery left ivory?
FOR ONCE because i NEVER shipped ivory and misery as hard as while i was LISTENING TO THOSE FUCKING LOGS
LIKE FOR FUCKS SAKE
THEY MORPHED FROM CRACKSHIP TO OTP IN THOSE 13 MINUTES

but out of Ivory's perspective it's even worse because :)
he literally didn't think he actually matters to misery :)
he thought misery only hung out with him in lack of better options and bcs Ivory can keep his ass safe :)

so it wasn't only me who got emotionally invested as i listened to the logs, it was also ivory REALIZING that misery actually LIKES him and CARES about him and MISSES him with every word they sad :)

REALTALK.
If Misery would've said all the things they said in the audiolog to Ivory in person, there wouldn't have been a place on earth where Ivory wouldn't have gone for them.
BUT
THEY
DIDN'T
TELL
HIM
IN
PERSON

THUS IVORY ONLY FOUND OUT AFTER THEY LEFT ALREADY

AND FOR THE RECORD, Ivory grew up in a massively fucked up household and is traumatized by the hunger games and misery is 1) the only person who gets him when it comes to the trauma in the games and 2) THE ONLY CLOSE FRIEND HE EVER HAD

and nOW HE FINDS OUT that MISERY cared about him THE SAME WAY all ALONG but LEFT because they FELT like they do NOT BELONG there

AND EVEN WORSE THEY THOUGHT THEY FUCKED THINGS UP WITH IVORY WHILE THIS ISN'T EVEN TRUE ALL IVORY EVER WANTED WAS TO KEEP MISERY SAFE

but now they are GONE and Ivory will never find them and,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, he'll feel so bad about it,,,,, like he'll feel so abandoned and he'll miss Misery, and he'll feel guilty but also hurt and UGH HE DOES NOT DESERVE THIS

but what's the worst part :) he'll be so worried :) because :) he won't ever know :) what happened to misery :) like are they fine? :) will they get hurt? :) ivory can't protect them anymore and this will massively fuck with his head :)

so he'll search for misery until he won't anymore because he doesn't anymore because he doesn't know where to look and he'll learn Sending just to message Misery but they won't ever get in touch and Ivory won't ever know if Misery just ghosts him or is dead :)

I love the imagination of Chimera and Bones being there for Ivory tho and like comforting him when he legit breaks down over not finding misery and all and they are so kind and supportive and Ivory finds new friends in them

but still i am
so mad
about this

LIKE DON'T GET ME WRONG THE AUDIOLOG WAS SO GOOD, IT GAVE MISERY SO MUCH DEPTH AND IT WAS A COOL TWIST AND I LOVE THE ANGST, I REALLY DO

BUT

I ALSO HATE THIS WITH A PASSION

MAYBE I DID NOT ENTIRELY WENT PAST THE PHASE OF ANGER YET

LIKE FUCK YOU LEE, F U C K Y O U

THIS IS GREAT BUT I HATE THIS

i am actually emotional about this right now i might cry

IVORY DESERVES BETTER

THIS IS THE WORST THEY BOTH CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER LIKE W H Y

i think the worst thing about this is that the campaign is over aka ivory will never get closure and so i won't either and :)
i'm gonna end this thread now and go crying bye :)