Do you know what I think about all the time? In high school I worked at an ice cream shop and one day a man in a leather jacket saucily handed me a $20 bill, and upon it he'd graffitied "IN GOD WE THRUST!" The back had a long note about holy desecration. This was a Ben & Jerry's.

At first I thought maybe I was being hate crime'd but the way he presented it....it felt like it was our little joke. Like he was saying, "Hey you, sissy scooper in the tie-dye chunky monkey shirt, you get me, right? You look like you get me."

I don't get anyone who insists on wearing a leather jacket in the summer. I do whatever I can to evade them. They're full of conspiracies almost always.

Also there is NO ONE less willing to listen to a conspiracy than a Ben & Jerry's scooper in the middle of summer. We are a sticky, hollow, devoid of any capacity of hope OR skepticism. Just cheer. We arrive at work, blackout while smiling, and awaken smelling of waffle cones.

"IN GOD WE THRUST."

I have never had the heart to google this. I don't think I even mentioned it to any of the other scoopers at the time. I was compassionate like that. I saved them from a lifetime of needling bewilderment.

But that man was so remarkably confident. To this day I wonder what he saw in me, and if this was like....my one opportunity to exit the Matrix.