I think I’m hesitant to leave my womanhood behind bc it’s all I’ve known & I’ve fought tooth & nail to prove to everyone that just because I love women doesn’t mean I wanna be a man.

So there’s this like resistance to transitioning, in part, because I don’t want those folks to be able to say, “See, I knew it.”

And it’s wild to me because I don’t make decisions based on people’s opinions in any other facet of my life except this one.

I think ai love the idea of being non-binary and moving into gender fluidity for those reasons. But it’s not as black and white as transitioning. So then the idea of explaining who I am over and over and over again gives me anxiety.

I have made great strides toward just being honest about how I feel in my body. And for now, I am okay with that. Because this took a lot of me healing from being homophobic and transphobic to get here. So I’m just working in this space until I find complete clarity.