How to speak autistic. A thread.
This is generalising. Different autistic cultural groups and communities will have their own nuances. But, yes, autistic communication is naturally different, and very much a thing.

"Wait...what?"
https://twitter.com/AnnMemmott/status/1300340782361194498 Try that. /

OK: Let's get into the right mindset.
Our brains are wired to spot danger and predators approaching our community. We often have the hearing and visual range to do that. But...that means all the 'bandwidth' is focused on that. On specialised info, on accuracy, on safety/

So, enter some noisy random non-autistic people. (Yes, not all are...it's generalising).
All of a sudden, loads of unexpected chatter, blocking what we're listening to. A ton of face signals, eye signals, body language signals. And in no time at all, our brain reaches
STOP/

Now we can't hear what you're saying and we have no idea what you want from us. So much chatter and overload.

Disaster. Our brains now have to retreat to a 'rebooting' space, and wait patiently for all that logjam of sensory traffic to clear. Meantime, you think we're rude/

Except, we think you're rude, too.

Welcome to Double Empathy. Both sets of different brains register the other set as Rude. One for overwhelming us when we're doing important stuff (even if you can't imagine what it is). The other for not socialising The Right Way/

So, both sets of people need to relax and think 'OK, you're probably not being rude - this is a different language.'

Communicating our way?
Next to us, not facing us.
No eye contact. We don't need it. It's disruptive.
Straight into topic is better/

Yes, I know that for you non-autistic people, you're taught to make 20 mins of social chat first, including the right compliments, getting the right 'gosh yes, I do that too!' moments in there, etc.
That's good. But not good for us.
So, straight into the topic/

A lot of us who work together regularly won't even need to say hi, and how are you. Or bye at the end.
This can be Very Disconcerting Indeed for non-autistic people.

We also may not use spoken language at all.
Quite a few will use technology. You're using it right now/

"Oh my goodness, they're using Technology to communicate! That's not OK! Everyone needs to face each other and use eye contact and spoken words!" says the person who just got off the phone call (no eye contact), after listening to radio (no eye contact) and getting on email/

Keep it straightforward.
You know this bizarre expressions like "I'll be back in five minutes?"
Are you ever back in five minutes?
Nope, you're not.
I guarantee it will be 3 mins, or 15 mins, maybe 20 mins. Not 5 mins.
This is rude, in our culture (generalising). Why?/

Easy. I'm ready to communicate with you in 5 minutes. I am now loading info on you & what we will speak about. It's taking up all the bandwidth I have.
4mins 50 seconds...nearly there...
4mins 55 seconds...almost...argh...exhausting...
5mins 10 seconds...eek, heck, what the..

So, be vague if it's going to be vague.
"About 5 mins" "Between 5 and 20 mins or I'll let you know". That kind of thing.

Also, that thing where you switch topics every few seconds? Nope.
We do a topic, and speak, and it's RUDE to interrupt that person. (Generalising)/

It is genuine data sharing, and usually the topics are highly specialised and very very culturally important to the autistic person or group.

Of course, in non-autistic culture, speaking for ages without swapping person talking is RUDE.

See. Different. Tricky, eh?/

Most of us are actually very kind indeed, and we'll put up with all the chatting, and the random topic changes, and the bizarre expressions and the vague timescales.

But it is exhausting.

Then, when we need to retreat, we get called RUDE.

See how it happens?
Different brains/

Those different brains are meant to be different.
They are meant to complement one another, working differently. Focusing on different things in different ways.
Ours specialise. Ours focus. Ours tune in to detail yours probably cannot imagine even exists.
Like this, maybe/

Perhaps you see the picture on the left, a grey pavement?
I'm seeing the scene on the right.
It might look like I'm transfixed on something meaningless. But actually your brains can't see what I see.

(Generalising).

So, learn some autistic. Ask us what helps.
And thank you.

PS, if you are clutching your copy of DSM 5 about your person and whimpering right now, wondering how this fits with all the 'hey, their communication is broken, we must fix it' stuff, yes, it's been embarrassing.
Never mind. We all make mistakes, eh.

PPS -you know there are countless thousands of undiagnosed autistic people?
Many learned to speak enough non-autistic that no-one guessed they're autistic.
Many are top professionals in science, medicine, creative fields, faith etc, doing a fantastic job.
& are exhausted, hiding.

So if you want to learn about autism, you need to make it safe for the autistic people around you to disclose that they're autistic.
It's 1 in 30 of your colleagues, neighbours, etc.
I'm not joking.
Try it. Make it safe.