CW: suicide, depression

As someone who has coped with Major Depressive Disorder & thoughts of suicide, I want to share what it's like for someone going through that & why comments like "if you feel this way, reach out, get help," while well-meaning, are ultimately not helpful.

When I was in the throes of depression, I felt worthless & hopeless. I held a deep sense of shame and guilt in not being able to rise above my depression and not being able to pull myself out of this dark pit that I faulted myself for falling into in the first place.

I was certain that I was defective, broken, and that I was a burden on everyone around me, even if they had no idea what I was coping with because I was too ashamed to admit how awful I really felt. Depression can be deeply humiliating & debilitating.

When people are in that place of such powerful, gripping despair, to the point of wanting to take their own life, the last thing they are going to do, want to do, or even be capable of doing, is to reach out & tell someone.

We CANNOT place the burden of reaching out on them.

In the current state of the world, with with the amplifiers of social isolation, immense uncertainty, stress, anxiety, etc., it's even more important that we reach out & check in on people. Just see how they are doing. Listen to them without judgement or trying to fix anything.

There may not be obvious signs that someone is hurting, so don't wait for one. Everyone is going through something that is not outwardly apparent.

Be observant. Be kind. Listen. Show compassion. It's okay to not have the right things to say. Just showing you care can be enough.

We've come a long way in reducing the stigma around mental health, but we need to continue to talk openly about it & work to erase the shame around it that keeps people from reaching out.

My DM's are open if anyone wants to talk/share, but isn't comfortable doing so publicly.