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+at the first Christmas but Thorn is also thrown back into his grief that night. They were united in grief but unable to help each other move on. Both needed other loved ones/professionals for that. Thorn and Tharn grew more alike in looks over the years and that hurts Type, too.
Type has too many nieces and nephews to count and they love him very dearly +
+ He is the uncle you can go to completely confidentially about the really important and painful things, and once the older cousins know that about him they make sure the younger ones know it too. His advice might be blunt at times but it& #39;s always loving and clear-sighted +
+ Type actually worries that he& #39;s not a very good or fun uncle in the traditional sense and doesn& #39;t realise for a long time that these worries are unfounded.
None of the kids understand why outsiders think he& #39;s terrifying or Tharn is intimidating - what a crazy idea! +
None of the kids understand why outsiders think he& #39;s terrifying or Tharn is intimidating - what a crazy idea! +
+ Over the years they become first port of call for breakups, drunken nights out gone wrong and, eventually, one coming out.
Type grumbles about their revolving door but (deep down; Tharn knows) he is pleased and disbelieving that he is trusted and loved unreservedly in this way
Type grumbles about their revolving door but (deep down; Tharn knows) he is pleased and disbelieving that he is trusted and loved unreservedly in this way
Actually, his natural caution/worry over this and his lessening need for trauma coping mechanisms over the years mean he is one of the most gentle professors in the faculty. +
+ a strict and no-nonsense marker, but a deeply human teacher who never tries to talk down to his students.
He is particularly good with the difficult students, the ones who lash out for & #39;no reason& #39;. He ends up chairing the faculty& #39;s disciplinary/remedial boards for this reason.
He is particularly good with the difficult students, the ones who lash out for & #39;no reason& #39;. He ends up chairing the faculty& #39;s disciplinary/remedial boards for this reason.
+ although his grief initially carries self-reproach (the paragraph about cooking), over time this fades. The way he holds and honours the memories of Tharn after Tharn& #39;s death becomes the next part (and a significant one - a quarter of his life!) of Type& #39;s journey/relationship +
+ with Tharn. They make memories together, and Tharn dies, and then Type, as a part of his grief and the resolution of grief, in a sense re-makes those memories again into something precious that he holds close to him, a piece of Tharn in the long years without him. +
His need to be touched, however, is more like a missing limb that he never gets used to living without, and the absence of it aches always
Type accepts being touch-starved over the option of touching not-Tharn but the conscious nature of the choice doesn& #39;t make it easier to bear
Type accepts being touch-starved over the option of touching not-Tharn but the conscious nature of the choice doesn& #39;t make it easier to bear
This pain only grows over time
When Type gets dementia, she insists on caring for him until the end at home. Her loving husband and kids shape their lives and finances around this
Because of her he dies at home in as much comfort, familiarity and love he can understand +
+ When he dies, she finds herself mourning both him and Tharn with a raw grief that shocks her, but for which her husband has been braced. They take a few months away from home and the routine it upsets her to think about now that Type is missing from it. She begins to recover.
+ Not the most, that only grows with time. But the best. Done with the drama of their 20s, and the decisions over family and career of their 30s. Their 40s were happy and settled and Tharn was so handsome, somehow more attractive twenty years in than at the start, the bastard. +
+ Type was most peaceful in his 40s, his least difficult years. After youth and before the years of loss (health, mobility, physically pain-free youth, parents, friends) began. In his mind, he thinks he must have been easiest for Tharn to love in these years, least hard work +
+ As with much when it came to Type& #39;s deep views of himself, this wasn& #39;t matched by Tharn& #39;s experience of the same time.
Their 40s were very happy, but he doesn& #39;t see them as any more precious than the years he spent with young, angry Type or 50-something Type losing his parents
Their 40s were very happy, but he doesn& #39;t see them as any more precious than the years he spent with young, angry Type or 50-something Type losing his parents
