#workingfromhome w/ kids & no childcare is basically impossible. I can do emails/small tasks, but not longer, substantive work. I decided to do a small empirical project to demonstrate why. I documented 1 hour of (trying to) work this morning. Here's how it went: #AcademicChatter

9.00 - #1 asks about whether I should write 16.30 instead of 4.30pm in an email he's watching me type.
9.03 - #3 asks me how to spell princess.
9.04 - #3 asks if I wrote princess or princesses.
9.05 - #3 informs me of items on her birthday wish list (which is in 5 weeks).

9.11 - #1 asks whether bikers sometimes go the wrong way on a one-way street.
9.12 - #1 asks if people walking can go both ways on a one-way street.
9.13 - #1 kindly reminds me about a street called Southmoor Place. It’s one-way.

9.17 - #2 comes in wearing star-shaped glasses and makes funny faces at me.
9.18 - #2 says she thinks she needs glasses, then that she actually doesn’t.
9.18 - #3 has put on the star-shaped glasses and does a little dance in the doorway singing, ‘Hey I’m a pop-star.’

9.19 - #3 comes in to read me an updated birthday wish list (it’s gotten quite long). We have a brief discussion about the rainbow bouncy ball she’s listed, since we have so many bouncy balls already. ‘But I want a rainbow one.’
9.22 - #1 wanders in. I suggest he brush his teeth.

9.24 - #2 wanders in. I suggest she brush her teeth.
9.26 - #3 enters with a walkie-talkie over each ear. I tell her the loud shrieking feedback is because they’re too close together. She puts one down and tells me she’s using the other one to ‘take my photo’ instead.

9.28 - #3 comes in to take my ‘photo’ again.
9.30 - #3 comes in to show me the ‘photo’ she’s taken of me.
9.32 - #3 pops in to let me know that the password is ‘scarecrow’ (what password? for what?).

9.33 - #3 asks ‘What’s the password, Mummy?’ ‘Scarecrow.’ ‘That’s right, Mummy!’
9.35 - #1 asks if our washing machine has a 12-hour or 24-hour clock.
9.36 - #1 knocks his pencil case all over the floor and walks away. I ask him to clean it up.

9.37 - #1 knocks a pile of sticks over. I ask him to clean them up.
9.38-40 - #1 climbs onto the swivel chair and spins around singing. I tell him not to play with it because it’s not a toy and he will hurt himself.

9.40 - #1 smashes his finger between the chair and the desk and starts wailing (not saying I told you so). We have a chat about how we have rules to keep people safe, not to deny them having fun. We have a cuddle
9.42 - To change the subject, I suggest brushing teeth (again).

9.43 - #1 sits in the doorway giggling about a book he found on the stairs. I suggest brushing teeth (again).
9.49-9.55 - #2 and #3 play ‘spying’ on Mummy – popping their heads in the door every 10 seconds or so.

9.56 - ‘Spying’ gets boring so #2 and #3 decide to play ‘meeting’ instead (this is a new game since lockdown and working from home).
9.59 - #3 asks again what the password is. I say, ‘Scarecrow,’ but that’s wrong since apparently it has changed.

This is a non-rigorous, non-randomly-sampled, not at all scientific study but I'd wager that parents everywhere are experiencing something similar. So, I stand by my conclusion: #workingfromhome w/ kids & no childcare is basically impossible! /end