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1/14 THREAD:
Dating advice from a perpetually single guy. Trust me, I know whereof I speak.
Dating advice from a perpetually single guy. Trust me, I know whereof I speak.
1/14
You're not ugly, you just appear ugly. Shave. Smell nice. Dress nice. T-shirt stains? C'mon man. Check your breath, brush your teeth, tame that hair/beard. Show some fucking effort so she knows you're serious about her.
You're not ugly, you just appear ugly. Shave. Smell nice. Dress nice. T-shirt stains? C'mon man. Check your breath, brush your teeth, tame that hair/beard. Show some fucking effort so she knows you're serious about her.
2/14 The first date is your first impression. You get one shot, no more. LISTEN to her... assume there's a pop-quiz later. Express your thoughts and ideas. Ask about her passions. Look in her eyes when she's speaking, not the tv behind her.
3/14
If she goes to the bathroom, sure, check out her ass. She spent a long time in front of the mirror making sure she looked good. Don't be obvious about checking out her tits. If you play your cards right, you'll be seeing those in time.
If she goes to the bathroom, sure, check out her ass. She spent a long time in front of the mirror making sure she looked good. Don't be obvious about checking out her tits. If you play your cards right, you'll be seeing those in time.
4/14
PAUSE: This is not a ploy for you to get lucky. We're not trying to trick anyone here. It's a hopeful attempt at her wanting a date number 2.
PAUSE: This is not a ploy for you to get lucky. We're not trying to trick anyone here. It's a hopeful attempt at her wanting a date number 2.
5/14
Be honest, should you be dating right now? Are you recently out of a long term relationship? Are you going through a really rough time financially, spiritually, physically? A particularly rough patch of depression? Perhaps it's a better time to focus on YOU.
Be honest, should you be dating right now? Are you recently out of a long term relationship? Are you going through a really rough time financially, spiritually, physically? A particularly rough patch of depression? Perhaps it's a better time to focus on YOU.
6/14
Ok, date 1 went well. Here's a not-so-obvious tip: CLEAN OUT YOUR FUCKING CAR. If it's littered with old McDonald's bags, or sweaty laundry bags... my dude, those are red flags. You don't need a Beamer, just a vehicle that she's not grossed out by.
Ok, date 1 went well. Here's a not-so-obvious tip: CLEAN OUT YOUR FUCKING CAR. If it's littered with old McDonald's bags, or sweaty laundry bags... my dude, those are red flags. You don't need a Beamer, just a vehicle that she's not grossed out by.
7/14
Your place. *sigh*. Remember what I said about effort?
Your place should look inviting, tidy, and clean. A few kids toys laying around? Sure. Cat toys? Why not. Some books? Even better.
Dust bunnies, dirty dishes, and laundry everywhere? She may not want to come back.
Your place. *sigh*. Remember what I said about effort?
Your place should look inviting, tidy, and clean. A few kids toys laying around? Sure. Cat toys? Why not. Some books? Even better.
Dust bunnies, dirty dishes, and laundry everywhere? She may not want to come back.
8/14
The kitchen should be clean and tidy. No garbage/recycling piled up. Basic kitchen utensils, cooking stuff (oils, spices, wine) on the counter, and some fresh fruit. SOMETHING in the fridge aside from 48 Bud Light, and NOTHING with green fur on it.
The kitchen should be clean and tidy. No garbage/recycling piled up. Basic kitchen utensils, cooking stuff (oils, spices, wine) on the counter, and some fresh fruit. SOMETHING in the fridge aside from 48 Bud Light, and NOTHING with green fur on it.
9/14
At some point, she's going to need to pee. That bathroom had better fucking SPARKLE. Once you've cleaned it and you're sure an Italian grandmother would be impressed, clean it one more time. That toilet bowl better impress. No pee stains, no splash marks, no skid marks.
At some point, she's going to need to pee. That bathroom had better fucking SPARKLE. Once you've cleaned it and you're sure an Italian grandmother would be impressed, clean it one more time. That toilet bowl better impress. No pee stains, no splash marks, no skid marks.
10/14
Seriously dude, read that last one again.
FUCKING SPARKLE.
Seriously dude, read that last one again.
FUCKING SPARKLE.
11/14
If you're privileged enough to make it to the bedroom, it should be inviting. Bed made, CLEAN SHEETS (placement ad for Downey Unstoppables), and generally tidy. A few books, photos, and NO POSTERS OF LARGE BREASTED MOVIE STARS. Also, hide the 4-point under mattress cuffs.
If you're privileged enough to make it to the bedroom, it should be inviting. Bed made, CLEAN SHEETS (placement ad for Downey Unstoppables), and generally tidy. A few books, photos, and NO POSTERS OF LARGE BREASTED MOVIE STARS. Also, hide the 4-point under mattress cuffs.
12/14
Dating vs Friends
She's now one of those people that if you don't make time for her, you'll lose her. You will need to sacrifice some time with your bros. Not all, but some. Do you have time for her in your life? If not, stop now... it's not fair to give false hope to her.
Dating vs Friends
She's now one of those people that if you don't make time for her, you'll lose her. You will need to sacrifice some time with your bros. Not all, but some. Do you have time for her in your life? If not, stop now... it's not fair to give false hope to her.
13/14
REPEAT.
Keep doing this for a few more dates and guess what, dude? You have a girlfriend. DON'T FUCK IT UP.
Keeping her is SO SO much more difficult, and rewarding.
REPEAT.
Keep doing this for a few more dates and guess what, dude? You have a girlfriend. DON'T FUCK IT UP.
Keeping her is SO SO much more difficult, and rewarding.
14/14
BONUS
Remember that part on the first date about LISTENING to her? EXPRESSING your thoughts and ideas? EFFORT? Don't ever stop, man. Seriously. Communication will get you through the roughest shit. When she stops talking to you about 'stuff', she's done with you.
Good luck.
BONUS
Remember that part on the first date about LISTENING to her? EXPRESSING your thoughts and ideas? EFFORT? Don't ever stop, man. Seriously. Communication will get you through the roughest shit. When she stops talking to you about 'stuff', she's done with you.
Good luck.
