One of the hardest lessons is that you can't help anyone who doesn't want to be helped. Healing requires change, which is often scary, and you can't fix that for people.

The deeper question is: why do you _need_ to help them?

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Yes, it's good to help if you can, if they need it, and esp. only if they want it.

But why is "helping" so compulsive for some? What do you get out of it? Who are you when you don't?

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Who are you when people want your help but it comes at to great a cost to you? How do you feel about saying "No"?

In love, yes, love is never perfect. Love requires sacrifice, balance, give and take--but love should never require your martyrdom, or ask you to dim your light.

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In life it's just the same. The world is full of people in pain, but you cannot help them from that place of pain yourself. You can't take it on or take it from them.

You can learn how to overcome yours; you can share that understanding with others, but in the end, we all

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must find our own way to whatever healing "we" need. Others can only point us back toward ourselves. If they point you anywhere else while purporting to heal you, they're not a healer.

But if you are inclined to heal, why? And how do you come to terms with how hard it is?

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Why do you need others to feel better? Who are you when you only need to take care of yourself? When there's no one else's pain to distract you from your own?

When no matter how hard you try to love & help some...

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...you'll still lose them--or yourself--if they're not ready to face themselves?

Can you see how you DID NOT fail them? Their path, however painful, is not yours. Even if they asked, commanded, begged you to help them, it wasn't your pain to take away.

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It's not your fault they weren't ready to heal, and didn't understand what they had to do in order to get there.

Let go. Drop the rope. If they want to heal, they will.
No one heals anyone else by getting under them and trying to heft them up.

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You just end up in the same pit that way; and all they get is a temporary fix. A bandaid. A drug fix.

We're here to shine our own light and be beacon. Those who make their way to you are ready for what you have to offer. Those who cannot, aren't ready. However much it hurts.

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Obviously, use discernment. You see someone literally drowning, help them! But you know what I mean. I speak in general terms. You can change a tire for someone, fix a faucet, offer kind words or a hug. You can listen.

You can't fix someone's life, or their wounded heart.

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You can be present & supportive as they heal for themselves. It can be the best thing ever. But you can't do it for them. If they ask; say no! It won't help them, and only destroy you to keep trying.

That's not a failure--by anyone. That's life.
We don't make the rules.

*egads, I apologize for all the typos.

I get why Twitter has no edit function, but damn... my thoughts on the fly not always spellign good...