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tw // bodyshaming, eating disorder, depression, autism, anxiety, self-harm, suicide/suicidal thoughts
Time for some real talk, and for me to be brutally honest about some things. Army/any kpop stans, please read.
The fanwars need to stop. I& #39;m tired of it.
Time for some real talk, and for me to be brutally honest about some things. Army/any kpop stans, please read.
The fanwars need to stop. I& #39;m tired of it.
I love bts as much as the next person. They& #39;ve done so much for me for years now. They& #39;ve made me laugh, cry and smile. They picked me up when I was at my lowest. They taught me so much. They made me realise my worth. They deserve everything they& #39;ve achieved, and more.
Equally, I love kpop as a whole. I discovered many other groups after becoming an army and I& #39;ve taken part in watching kpop grow into what it is now. Whenever a group that I stan achieves something great, even if it& #39;s not considered that big, I can& #39;t help but feel proud of them.
I don& #39;t usually talk about it openly, but I& #39;ve been mentally struggling for the last few years and I& #39;m only 16 now. My parents fight a lot, my mum is depressed, my brother is autistic and my dad is extremely controlling. I don& #39;t remember the last time I felt real happiness.
I was too afraid to ask for help for anything as a kid because I was intimidated by adults and I didn& #39;t want people to think that I& #39;m useless. My dad cares so much about how I look and he sometimes asks me if I gained weight. I never know how to answer so I just say nothing.
I remember wondering what it would be like to k!ll myself at the age of 11. That& #39;s when things started getting worse. I started losing friends because they gossiped about me. I developed anxiety and struggled to open up to others out of fear that I& #39;d lose even more friends.
I became very insecure about my acne and my body weight. Sometimes I& #39;d skip meals wherever I could because my dad made me think I had to be skinnier. School started getting very stressful and I found it hard to focus on work. I never took proper care of my mental state.
I worry about others more than I probably should. My family and friends have their struggles too. One of my friends has self-harmed before. I can& #39;t help but feel guilty if there& #39;s nothing I can do for someone. I blame myself a lot. My biggest fear is losing the people I love.
Kpop made me realise that everyone is unique and we shouldn& #39;t judge each other so quickly. It& #39;s ok to be upset or angry or ashamed. It& #39;s ok to make mistakes. You just need to pick yourself up right after and keep going. Keep learning. Keep walking down the path you choose.
I& #39;ve also met so many great people thanks to kpop. Kpop has made me more confident in myself and I& #39;m more able to open up to others. Of course I still have my bad days, but kpop has made things a lot better for me as a person. Kpop inspires me. Kpop became my happy place.
Now kpop has become global. Bts have gone places I don& #39;t think anyone thought they& #39;d go. And with that comes pros and cons. Yes, I& #39;m fully aware that there are a lot of nice army and nice kpop stans in general, however I feel like the bad is starting to outweigh the good.
Sometimes I wonder: has the kpop community become too toxic? Is it still my happy place? Honestly, I don& #39;t know. There have been times where I& #39;ve considered no longer interacting with some fandoms (not mentioning names) because it was getting too much for me to handle.
But I can& #39;t stay away from kpop. It gives me more joy than most things. I don& #39;t blame any group or idol, nor do I want to involve them. This is a matter between fans only. We all contribute to the interactions between fandoms, and some of us need to take more responsibility.
Again, I know this doesn& #39;t apply to everyone. Some of you just need to be more careful about what we say to and about others. It& #39;s ok if you don& #39;t stan a group, but it is not ok for you to talk shit to other people. Some of you get real brave just because you& #39;re behind a screen.
You never know what words can do. You never know if a simple sentence just made someone& #39;s life 10 times harder. I know because I& #39;ve been hurt by words before. People have talked badly about me, backstabbed me and left me in the dust. Some of them haven& #39;t even owned up yet.
I& #39;m not just a victim though. I& #39;ll admit I& #39;ve also said some hurtful things. Sometimes I did it because I thought it was right, sometimes without thinking at all. Then I realise later that what I said was wrong.
It& #39;s easy to forgive the people, it& #39;s harder to forget their words.
It& #39;s easy to forgive the people, it& #39;s harder to forget their words.
JUST STOP THE FANWARS.
Not only are they pointless, but they& #39;re the reason people are hurt, and the reason why people turn their backs on the kpop community as a whole.
Some of you are doing too much damage and not realising it. You& #39;re not making us look good in the slightest.
Not only are they pointless, but they& #39;re the reason people are hurt, and the reason why people turn their backs on the kpop community as a whole.
Some of you are doing too much damage and not realising it. You& #39;re not making us look good in the slightest.
A lot of people now only see the bad side of kpop which is not what we want. Of course it& #39;d be great if more people could join us. Bringing down people to make others "better" is not the way to do it. Don& #39;t be surprised if locals say we& #39;re toxic, because a good number of you are.
I made this thread because army and kpop stans are fighting if you haven& #39;t seen already. It hurts seeing this happen, especially since bts just got billboard no. 1 and won an award which they got because of THEIR hard work. Why can& #39;t we all just stay in our lanes? It& #39;s not hard.
And if you say bad things to others as a coping mechanism, PLEASE DON& #39;T. There are better ways to cope with whatever you& #39;re struggling with. Google it, read about it, ask someone for help if you can. But do not make others suffer if you& #39;re suffering. It only makes things worse.
I& #39;d appreciate it if you shared this thread, especially if you know anyone who needs to see it. No, I& #39;m not looking for sympathy. My goal is to help reduce the toxicity in this community because I seriously love kpop. I don& #39;t want to have to leave it because of some bad apples.
If you& #39;re still reading, thank you. I know this was a long rant and I& #39;m sorry. I& #39;m just disappointed in a lot of the things I& #39;ve been seeing in the kpop community lately and I had a lot to get off my chest. Again, I don& #39;t want sympathy. I want people to stop being so damn toxic.
