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Taking time out today to get shockingly drunk and livetweet trash TV. Forgive me new followers, you knew not what would come of your good intent. I'm about to watch #TheDaVinciCode. (Feel free to mute this tag/ unfollow). This thread will likely contain spoilers and opinions
Has anyone really lived until they have watched a monk shoot a dude in a portrait gallery? I submit that they have not. #TheDaVinciCode
This movie is like "if a monk shoots you, you can do whatever you want in the really fancy portrait gallery." I too wouldn't bother seeking medical help (too expensive) and instead would just fingerpaint "sucks to be youuuuuu" all over the walls. #TheDaVinciCode
Is Tom Hanks giving a bad TEDx special? What is happening? Also, his presentation has so many sharp moving images! This is a nightmare. GIVE WARNINGS FOR RAPIDLY CHANGING IMAGERY, TOM HANKS, YOU WANKER. #TheDaVinciCode
Oh god, I am already screaming at the screen that you can't produce any notion of "original truth" with symbolism because the whole point is that these would be contextual and that context historically moves. #TheDaVinciCode
I'm here laughing so hard. Is this really what people think academic book launches are like? These many people? BUYING HARDBACKS? I'm sorry; defacing a portrait gallery after being shot by a villainous monk is no longer the most far fetched thing #TheDaVinciCode offers.
This French govt agent apparently came to a book signing and was like "here's a photo of a dead guy." AT A BOOK SIGNING. FOR HARDBACKS. THAT IS THIS CROWDED.
I'm sorry. The book signing is just... I can't get over it. An actual queue. For religious studies. #TheDaVinciCode
I'm sorry. The book signing is just... I can't get over it. An actual queue. For religious studies. #TheDaVinciCode
... ??? Did he just find out his friend died and he's totally fine??? Is he in league with murder monk guy? 'Cause otherwise this is cold as hell. #TheDaVinciCode
"Lying beneath the Rose of Saint-Sulpice" just sounds like a sexy monk-themed porno. Just saying. I'm right. #TheDaVinciCode
Wow, I was making a joke before but the monk is naked now and doing stuff that looks like some intense painplay. Who among us can judge. #TheDaVinciCode
He's a flagellant, but this is so weirdly depicted? The nudity, the fact that this is in private and not a public performance of piety, the very weird thigh chains...
Far be it from me to tell a villainous monk how to go about this but... #TheDaVinciCode
Far be it from me to tell a villainous monk how to go about this but... #TheDaVinciCode
This is filmed so weirdly. I think I'm supposed to be horrified by this scarring, etc because the camera is trying to evoke that effect, but I'm mostly like "what purpose is this supposed to serve?" It is so oddly decontextualised from historical representation? #TheDaVinciCode
Wait, so he's in Paris now?
... Just checking, but an academic with book signings and probably a lecture schedule has just... left the country... to go consult on a murder case... where his friend was killed.... without 300 phone calls with admin?????? #TheDaVinciCode
... Just checking, but an academic with book signings and probably a lecture schedule has just... left the country... to go consult on a murder case... where his friend was killed.... without 300 phone calls with admin?????? #TheDaVinciCode
"A scar on the face of Paris." I'm just here yelling about architecture and about I. M. Pei's work as a locational site of racial and cultural tensions that speak to a larger French nationalism invested in white supremacy. #TheDaVinciCode
Ma wandered in so now I've yelled at her about architecture too, and she has rolled her eyes at me. I miss being able to go to museums. #TheDaVinciCode
Paused to go get more wine.
Everyone in this movie is randomly like "let's get naked and do stuff to our bodies" and the camera keeps trying to paint this as shock effect, but I've only just realised that when Tom Hanks was at his book signing a French detective showed him a random nude. #TheDaVinciCode
An interesting thing about this movie that's coming up as I'm further along is how white it is. That placed against the throwaway line about the pyramid at the Louvre actually does posit a specific idea of this film's tone re: whiteness as visual aesthetics. #TheDaVinciCode
I know this is supposed to be startling but the fact that this guy took ages to arrange himself like this, doing quite a bit of set up, while shot in the side suggests he could so easily have just... called an ambulance and phoned Tom Hanks after. #TheDaVinciCode
Who among us has not, at least once, splayed ourselves naked like beloved work of art on the famous tiles of a fancy French museum. Throw the first stone, I dare you. #TheDaVinciCode
What I love is that anyone assumes a tenured male academic knows how to work an unfamiliar answering machine system. Forgive me, I've been in academia and many of my friends are administrative assistants. Believe me, they tell horror stories of incompetence. #TheDaVinciCode
Still can't get over the fact that the dude who died not only stripped down but, despite being shot, was able to remember the Fibonacci sequence.
Meanwhile I'm here like "what is my log in code for zoom again?" for the 30th time. #TheDaVinciCode
Meanwhile I'm here like "what is my log in code for zoom again?" for the 30th time. #TheDaVinciCode
I've been curled over wheezing with giggles for the last 10 mins. This is the true mystery of #TheDaVinciCode: what faculty department is Tom Hanks REALLY with? https://twitter.com/Chris__Lovell/status/1300837455067787264
Just going to note: how long has that body been splayed out there because decomposition is a thing and also it had to be there long enough to 1) be discovered, 2) the French guy goes to the US, and 3) they fly back to France. That's... a lot of time for a body. #TheDaVinciCode
From my memories of medical school, I think internal organs begin to decompose over the first 3 days and after that we're getting to bloating, etc, so that body is actually far too pristine and should be super suspicious. #TheDaVinciCode
Currently paused to google this because now I'm like, maybe there's natural preservation systems because taxidermy happens and ethical taxidermy would not alwats have immediate access, I think? (Google analytics is probably never going to let me live this down.) #TheDaVinciCode
Found an article that might have some answers for me: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/joa.12160
I'm going to go on with the movie and then read this in the morning, I think. #TheDaVinciCode
I'm going to go on with the movie and then read this in the morning, I think. #TheDaVinciCode
(Forgive me, most of my attempts to watch anything end up wandering down random tangents.)
Her: You have eidetic memory?
Him: Not quite, but I can pretty much remember what I see.
So, some questions:
1) Isn't that the definition of eidetic memory?
2) He is literally still staring directly at the letters so where is retention even a question???
#TheDaVinciCode
Him: Not quite, but I can pretty much remember what I see.
So, some questions:
1) Isn't that the definition of eidetic memory?
2) He is literally still staring directly at the letters so where is retention even a question???
#TheDaVinciCode
How many anagrams did this dude create?! Also, what was he using that's only visible under black light because, uh, he was very naked... and he had limited time and resources... #TheDaVinciCode
Questions I did not see coming when I started watching #TheDaVinciCode: Did a dude murdered by a villainous monk fingerpaint the Louvre with either spit or semen to leave his granddaughter and a random professor a series of vague clues???
Also, I don't know that much about museums but I'm going to guess that if you put a black light near a wall that sees as much foot traffic as the Louvre does, you're just going to get a million blotches and a bunch of stains. #TheDaVinciCode
WHO HAS TIME TO PLAN AN ELABORATELY THEMED TREASURE HUNT WHEN SHOT IN THE SIDE BY A MURDEROUS MONK? #TheDaVinciCode
Also, what is wrong with these people that this isn't a question they are asking?! No offence, but this lady's grandfather was clearly hella drama. #TheDaVinciCode
Oh god, I'm only 30 mins in! What even is this movie!? #TheDaVinciCode
Have found an opportune place to pause and will continue watching this tomorrow when hopefully sobriety will make this film less ridiculous. #TheDaVinciCode
Good night all.
Good night all.
HOW? A man has maybe painted the walls of the Louvre in his dying spit or semen to leave a trail of unnecessarily ambiguous themed clues for a really questionable art history treasure hunt. HOW CAN THE SEQUEL TOP THIS?!?! #TheDaVinciCode https://twitter.com/KatLBrewer/status/1300906552577015809
Honestly, the film is so weird in the oddest ways. The murder is genuinely the least interesting part of it all; I'm just here like "How did academic leave get sanctioned so quickly?!" & "What other buildings does Dan Brown hate?" #TheDaVinciCode https://twitter.com/Chnapy/status/1300881812005310464
Prepping for my day and suddenly struck by the possibility that this lady's granddad has set up an elaborate art history murder treasure hunt as a last ditch move to get her to learn about his field (which she didn't choose to follow). #TheDaVinciCode https://twitter.com/SamiraNadkarni/status/1300851514538225670
Don't we all have that one relative that's spiteful enough? It's the ultimate power move: "Here's contextual information you could have known if you'd only listened to the plans I had for your career that you rejected. Now how you gonna solve my murder, huh?" #TheDaVinciCode
Friends, have we all maybe considered the possibility that this was never actually meant to be a two hour long series of events and dead guy just hadn't figured out that Tom Hanks is bad at research despite being published? #TheDaVinciCode https://twitter.com/teaberryblue/status/1300951091560013826
I mean, he's an older white male academic who seems to have limited grasp on the primary knowledges in his own field but is still a full tenured professor.
This... tracks pretty well, actually. #TheDaVinciCode
This... tracks pretty well, actually. #TheDaVinciCode
