The thing that frustrates men so much at times about feminists isn’t their “mannishness”, but quite the opposite in fact.

Their strategies and behavior are often just as female as female can be - the emotional args, the feigning woundedness to trigger protective instincts in men, the insistence upon mind-reading from men.

I’m often prone to say “Good lord, u are being **such women** right now”

But here’s the thing - the men in my life almost never resent me being “such a woman” when I’m doing so. They may get a little befuddled at times, but they don’t resent it.

I can pull out every tool in my woman’s toolkit and they are FINE with it. Because I own it.

Let me tell you an analogy about owning it re: being “such a woman.” My husband and I (less so now we’re older) loved to wrassle for fun. So one evening I teasingly bopped him with a couch pillow and he jumped on me and we proceeded to try to pin one another (with great glee).

We were laughing and he of course was winning, because duh. Smack talking was going on: “Ooooh, so you think you can BEAT me, huh?”
Me (thoroughly pinned at this point): Sure I can. I can un-pin myself in about 3 seconds.

Him: bracing for the expected rush of me trying valiantly to unpin myself

Me: I go absolutely limp. And softly squishy. And cuddly. And smiiiiiile at him. And kiss him on his adorable nose.

Him <death grip immediately loosening and looking a bit grumpily charmed>: THAT’S CHEATING!!! That’s not even... you can’t....NOT FAIR!”

Me: I most certainly can. You got your advantages, I got mine. I’m allowed to use them.

There are absolutely times when we’re merely being 2 equal adults hashing stuff out - that’s MOST of the time, in fact.

But if I’m “being a woman” I don’t pretend I’m not. THAT is the thing that will get you a man who resents the heck out of you.