Lately, I've been thinking about decision fatigue, education, & status quo (which, for many, I worry will be a slide back into upholding systems of white supremacy).

The links were really drawn for me in Dr. Ali Michael's text, Raising Race Questions...

In her text, Michael looked at the many micro-decisions educators made and racialized the data.

Decisions like: which students were allowed to interrupt others? To be interrupted? Who get a quick "yes" to use the bathroom? For whom might there have been pause? Who was called on?

These seemingly tiny decisions, when added together, all contributed to the culture of a classroom.

The curriculum could be amazing, walls could say all of the right things, but if those many tiny decisions upheld bias, it was a biased (I would say likely harmful) classroom.

Her advice, and that of other amazing folx in this work (like the wonderful @_rhiannonkim) was to s-l-o-w down,
to pause & make decisions (even seemingly small ones) with greater intention.

So... here we are in COVID and all of those decisions? Well, there are so many many more of them. Added to this is a potential feeling of hyper-vigilance (is that mask below their nose? Are they six feet apart? Did they just share a pencil - isn't that a contact point?).

Research indicates that with more decisions comes decision fatigue & with decision fatigue, "...you may be inclined to avoid additional decisions, stick to the status quo or base a decision on a single criteria..." https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2020/08/30/covid-mental-health-what-decision-fatigue-tips-amid-pandemic/5618163002/

I read that line & although it's not spelled out, my brain starts to draw connections between "status quo" & upholding systems of white supremacy, single criteria & race.

Even for the most well practiced white educators, I worry that decision fatigue will have us sliding back.

(side note: although I realize deeply that Black, Indigenous, educators of color can also uphold systems of white supremacy, I'm speaking to my particular experience as a white educator )

For me, I'm still swimming in this thinking, and I've got a few ideas for myself.

First, now more than ever I'd like to keep practicing. Going over my speak up strategies with accountability partners & saying aloud what I might do/say. This is to build a kind of automaticity.

I'm also planning to, however possible, limit decisions I have to make when I can. For example: I have a few favorite "go to" dishes that might become what I'm eating regularly rather than decide what I'm having at each meal.

Establishing routines has also been helpful for me.

Joelle van Lent recently taught us (faculty of my school) to have a running "parking lot" of questions/ideas. To get thoughts out of our minds by placing them on a page.

I also know that in order for this to work, shifts need to happen across all levels: personal, interpersonal, institutional, & systemic.

I'm laying out some of my "personal" ideas because that's what I have a bit more control for in this moment.

Importantly, I don't believe that the decisions are reduced or disappear for educators in remote spaces, they are just different.

Who is listening to the lesson? What are the implications for young people learning from home? What does it mean when I haven't "seen" a student?

Finally (I think) get yourself some amazing friends.

Without @DingleTeach @ValeriaBrownEdu & @lizziefortin I would likely forget to take my supplements, stop drinking water, and not go for the walks that I know that I need.

This job is hard AF. Love to you all

Backstory: my lunchbox yesterday (first full day back in the building) could be my own little decision fatigue mascot