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If you don't like being lectured, stop here.
"You Can't Help Others Until You Help Yourself".
Some of the truest words ever spoken. If you cannot help yourself, you cannot help others. Why? It's simple.
That behavior is self-destructive and will bring harm.
(cont.)
If you don't like being lectured, stop here.
"You Can't Help Others Until You Help Yourself".
Some of the truest words ever spoken. If you cannot help yourself, you cannot help others. Why? It's simple.
That behavior is self-destructive and will bring harm.
(cont.)
Selflessness is an admirable trait, but it has a tendency to come with a lack of self-care, a lost value of identity.
Many who put all others before them tend to not even put themselves anywhere, they just "aren't". They see no value or worth in their well-being.
(cont.)
Many who put all others before them tend to not even put themselves anywhere, they just "aren't". They see no value or worth in their well-being.
(cont.)
They act as beacons of light, guiding lamps to all, but they don't follow that path themselves, and they refuse to accept the help of others.
This very idea is untenable, unsustainable, and dangerous. Because if there is no "you", how can you help others?
(cont.)
This very idea is untenable, unsustainable, and dangerous. Because if there is no "you", how can you help others?
(cont.)
"Self-destructive behavior" means exactly what it sounds like. A continuation of that cycle will destroy you.
Everyone needs help at some point, I mean, you see me ask for it too~
A kind word, a helping hand, a small gesture, or even more. We are here for each other.
(cont.)
Everyone needs help at some point, I mean, you see me ask for it too~
A kind word, a helping hand, a small gesture, or even more. We are here for each other.
(cont.)
The problem with self-destructive selflessness is that you devote yourself to others and become a part of them, but in refusing their help and acting on the fringes, they never get a chance to be part of you.
You don't allow others to be there as you are for them.
(cont.)
You don't allow others to be there as you are for them.
(cont.)
Admirable? Yes.
Harmful? Definitely.
Because you expend your entire being for others and don't let them replenish you, heal you, take care of you. When you hurt, it never really goes away, and each pain is built upon the last.
And it all only goes one way.
(cont.)
Harmful? Definitely.
Because you expend your entire being for others and don't let them replenish you, heal you, take care of you. When you hurt, it never really goes away, and each pain is built upon the last.
And it all only goes one way.
(cont.)
Your mental health will suffer greatly. Anxieties, insecurities, fears and worries consume your mind. And without opening the door, you do not allow the very people you nurture to come and give you the same care, the love and support you deserve.
And they suffer too.
(cont.)
And they suffer too.
(cont.)
At this critical juncture, many believe that distancing themselves from those they love will lessen their pain. Nothing could be further from the truth, a fact I know well myself from a very close person I lost.
That distance you create brings only torment to others.
(cont.)
That distance you create brings only torment to others.
(cont.)
Your friends, your family... They want to help you and you are taking that away from them.
They want to give you what you give them. When you isolate yourself, they are left with anxiety, distress of untold levels, a constant fear that their actions will be regrettable.
(cont.)
They want to give you what you give them. When you isolate yourself, they are left with anxiety, distress of untold levels, a constant fear that their actions will be regrettable.
(cont.)
Believe me, I know what it feels like to not have closure, and it's a feeling I have to face every single day. I can picture one person now, the last time I saw them, not knowing it would be the final time we share a glance.
It is a raw pain, I suffer it eternally.
(cont.)
It is a raw pain, I suffer it eternally.
(cont.)
I don't live with regrets, I don't believe in thinking about a past I cannot change, and so when this comes to mind, I have to do my hardest to push through, to eject the thoughts from my mind.
It's tough, and something I wish nobody would have to live with.
(cont.)
It's tough, and something I wish nobody would have to live with.
(cont.)
If you need help, if you feel that you need love and support, if it looks like there is no way out...
Open the door.
We are here for you, we are all here for each other. Your worries, your strife, your anger and pain, let us bear it too. Share in the good and the bad.
(cont.)
Open the door.
We are here for you, we are all here for each other. Your worries, your strife, your anger and pain, let us bear it too. Share in the good and the bad.
(cont.)
Your selflessness? It includes taking care of yourself too, because a better *you* is a better *us*, and we are all one big family, here to support each other.
Nobody should ever suffer alone.
We share the pain, just as we share the fun and laughter.
That is healthy.
(cont.)
Nobody should ever suffer alone.
We share the pain, just as we share the fun and laughter.
That is healthy.
(cont.)
Else you will go down a road that not only brings you pain, but spreads it to all who know you, all who cherish you and care for you. And many of them are vulnerable themselves, to the feelings they get from loss, from sadness and pain.
Like a pebble in a lake. Ripples.
(cont.)
Like a pebble in a lake. Ripples.
(cont.)
On this journey we call life, we have to remember the affect we have on each other, good and bad. We must remember what our actions do, the consequences they bring.
For the selfless, a lack of consideration for self-care can bring pain to so many who watch them suffer.
(cont.)
For the selfless, a lack of consideration for self-care can bring pain to so many who watch them suffer.
(cont.)
I see some of you dip into these destructive cycles, and as I talk to the people affected by it, I can see their pain and anguish. I know you try to block it out, but it is there.
You are NOT helping others by cutting yourself off. Talk to us, let us help you.
(cont.)
You are NOT helping others by cutting yourself off. Talk to us, let us help you.
(cont.)
I know it's not easy, you don't have to tell me. It took quite a few of you to convince me to change my ways earlier this year, as I was using myself up and not receiving what I give.
I'm so thankful, and I feel better, healthier, and stronger for you all because of it.
(cont.)
I'm so thankful, and I feel better, healthier, and stronger for you all because of it.
(cont.)
In dire times, I feel confident and hopeful, and that lets me go around and give the love and support I so much want to give, and the people I give it to reciprocate it, so that I feel wanted and cared for too. An amazing feeling.
Like I said, one big family, all of us.
(cont.)
Like I said, one big family, all of us.
(cont.)
If you're reading this and thinking about whether it's about you, take a good long look in the mirror.
See the person standing there?
They need love too. For all that they give, they are due to receive. Don't resist it, don't push people away.
You are one of us.
(cont.)
See the person standing there?
They need love too. For all that they give, they are due to receive. Don't resist it, don't push people away.
You are one of us.
(cont.)
Forgive me for the lengthy thread, but as the person who talks to many affected, I grow wary of seeing them in unnecessary pain and suffering. I want them to be happy and healthy, I want YOU to be happy and healthy.
It is what you deserve, don't argue it, don't insist.
(cont.)
It is what you deserve, don't argue it, don't insist.
(cont.)
Life is a fickle, fragile, brief thing. You only have this one shot, and in my personal belief, the single most important thing is love.
Love is what you give to others; let them give it to you.
It is the only way for all of us to be strong for each other, strong together.
Love is what you give to others; let them give it to you.
It is the only way for all of us to be strong for each other, strong together.
