This is going to be a long, depressing story. TW include: rape, suicide, but I think it’s important.



Could you really do sex work:

Since we began to socially distance and lots of jobs have gone away, onlyfans creators and people looking to do sex work is on the rise. I get asked what to do, how to start, how to be successful all the time.

Now I want it to be clear that I genuinely stand behind voluntary, non-survival SW (there’s a difference between forced trafficking - which is rape, voluntary SW and survival SW) as being something that challenges patriarchal notions of female bodily autonomy and choices

I speak positively of SW and I mean it and will continue to, however you have to understand if you think getting into it to make a quick $ right now is the way to go, it’s not for everyone and there can be very real, very long term consequences.

When I started I was a survival SW, (a stripper) over time it became voluntary as the money outweighed the suffering in the Austin service industry (only other thing I was qualified for) and I learned to thrive on the stage. That story is for another time.

Today I want to tell you about how I thought I lived my life in a way where SW couldn’t hurt me, I thought I was free and in control. I was wrong.

met a man in the club and I fell hopelessly in love with him. He made 6 figures and lived comfortably. He worked for 20 years in his field to get there, he was a certified expert in something he loved.

The money doesn’t matter to me (well-off men are a dime a dozen in the club, whatever) but it’s relevant to the story.

He’s a free spirit in his personal life, but he had a corporate job…once his manager was asking questions about me when we were dating seriously. Now, their team went to strip clubs all the time,

(it’s extremely common in his industry) as strip clubs are often customers who purchase large volumes of their product, so no big deal that I’m a dancer, right?

No. Manager says “I wish you were dating someone in a more respectable profession, if this got out you’d never work in this industry again”.

My partner thinks manager is grossly over-estimating how much people care, especially considering partner is amazing at his job. This remark is important later.

Months later he’s about to add the city of Las Vegas to the territory he’s in charge of, this is huge. He flies out and days later I join. We are so in love it’s stupid and i’ve never been happier or felt safer.

He takes me into a Tiffanys and proposes to me in a back room, I remember watching him get down on one knee and I just start bawling I’m so happy. We had just bought a house together and I feel so whole.

We rent a chapel that night, they match the lights to my hair which was electric blue and Elvis walks me down the aisle singing “Spanish Eyes”. My dress is black with high slits and my underwear is black and strappy….

Our wedding photos are incredible, I’m doing the full splits in the chapel and hike my leg up over a pew. It’s raunchy and funny and Elvis thinks I’m the funniest person. We are laughing in all the photos.

We get home still on a high and the next day our lives come to a screeching halt. He gets a phone call. Photos of our wedding from my instagram were sent to the owner of his company.

The owner is a massive misogynist (he makes his teenage girlfriends sign relationship contracts and signs the tampons at his business) who hates tattoos.

The owner informs my new husband that he married a trashy slut and that I “look cheap and that [my husband] cheapened his [business] by marrying [me]”.

My husband has a tense phone call in which his manager pipes up at the end (having been secretly on the call) and then later gets an email letting him know he’s been fired.

Unemployment lets us know the company is trying to block our collection and claiming we used their money on me to take a vacation. Not only is this not true, but we spent about 8K of our own.

Impromptu weddings aren’t cheap either it turns out, and I did the first expensive shopping I’d ever done in my life, having no idea what was around the corner. I fall very ill and can’t work for a very long time.

“I’m sure he had a savings” - we spent 40/50K on a house the month before this happened. I don’t get better and even though he’s an expert, he keeps getting ghosted after great 1st and 2nd interviews. He pulls his 401K and retirement plans.

We live off that for a long time, we make 11K last for a long time with a high monthly overhead. I honestly don’t know how we did it. It was miserable. 

I’ve been poor, in fact I’ve MOSTLY been poor… but being poor with the bills of a middle class person is a different story.

We fall behind on the mortgage, our utilities get shut off a few times. Both of our credit scores absolutely tank. They drop hundreds of points. We go into massive debt. I start forcing myself to strip while I’m incredibly sick. It’s hellish.

This goes on for a long time. We start drinking and fighting a lot. He tries desperately to get another job. He can’t. It starts coming out manager is actively keeping other people from hiring and lying about him

(the company is one of the top ten in the nation for this industry, the owner is very rich. He’s a Trump supporting asshole with too much money and time, we are not the only people whose lives he’s tried to ruin for fun).

Remember back to: “if this got out you’d never work in this industry again”.

I get sicker and sicker and doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong with me. I begin to rack up medical debt because my insurance is hundreds every month but doesn’t pay for anything. We work multiple service industry jobs, as I’m now too sick to dance.

We consider selling the house, but it was a fixer upper and our dogs have destroyed the floors and walls. We both become horribly depressed and both consider eating a bullet on multiple occasions but don’t because the other would be in an even worse position.

I start doing onlyfans and I try everything to get better. Every diet, every test I can afford. You name it. My marriage crumbles. Onlyfans starts to pick up around a year and a half after this starts.

We slowly climb to a point where we can pay our bills and start feeling like we are treading water instead of drowning all the time.

My marriage doesn’t recover but that’s no one’s fault and he’s still my best friend. I’m going to have to leave my home though, and that sucks. Our credit is still ruined. Much of our house is still in disrepair.

Sex work, which inadvertently got me in this mess, is now getting me out. Onlyfans now pays my bills because until I get an actual treatment plan going, I still can’t work a normal job. My husband will now have to work in a different field.

Please know there is NOTHING wrong with sex work. If you do survival SW, you are not a bad person and you’re not dirty. There is nothing wrong with voluntary SW. If you want to get into voluntary SW and you’re unsure if it’s right for you - it might be, but you need to BE CAREFUL

I wasn't

There are monsters in this world who will use that against you. I wasn’t even doing porn when this happened to me. I was doing lap dances off camera, unprovable. Onlyfans and selling content online is FOREVER and there’s direct evidence of it.

You need to understand people may try to doxx you. People may find out and tell your parents. People on the outside looking in will be horrible to you. You need to understand we are treated like trash and this can be a hard road to walk that has lasting effects on you.

If you want to do SW and you have questions on how to safest navigate it, you can absolutely message me. I will support and help anyone as I believe this is morally neutral and can be very good to you, but this isn’t a decision to be made lightly if you have other options.

I'm going to be shocked if people actually read this far.