Not entirely sure why, but I've decided to watch the VMAs. Fifteen minutes into the pre-show, and I can't say I hate it yet, but I can feel it coming.

Don't understand how they came up with clunky-ass "moonperson" when "astronaut" is plenty available.

And DaBaby even still said "moonman", so it's pretty much a wasted effort. Althought perhaps that's a better description for the VMAs as a whole, we shall see.

Oh, and I don't really like What's Poppin' so the Jack Harlow performance did nothing for me. The Say Her Name bit is good even though it's probably been mostly ignored, the show certainly didn't really call attention to it.

And that T.I. segment was prerecorded, you can't convince me otherwise. Wonder how much they paid him for that.

The announcer just called Yungblud "punk rock" and I hate it now. That was faster than expected.

How could Doja Cat, Yungblud, and Lewis Capaldi actually be the only artists up for that award? None of them are good choices. That is to say, two of them make shit music and the third is produced by Dr Luke, so fuck 'em all.

Do these six-feet-apart interviews actually count when nobody's wearing a mask? What about whoever handles those microphones? Do they have gloves? The rules should be stricter than this.

Part of me really wants to believe Jaden Smith is actually having a good time here, that's nice.

At first I thought the fashion throwback bit was silly, Ed Sheeran is not a style icon MTV don't be ridiculous, but now I realise its actually "Hey look, remember when Ed Sheeran showed up to this show in years past? We're still important folks, trust us!" I trust them less now.

"Shine a light on social causes" brought to you by Pepsi?! Not again! We already went through this with the Kendall (Kylie?) Jenner ad!

I assumed Tate McRae would be a country singer based on her name alone, turns out she's just boring baby-voice whisper pop.

I guess it's good for MGK that he's actually getting attention again, funnily enough I'm pretty sure the Eminem shit was the only reason for that. I don't believe that he's actually excited about this award, even the show didn't care enough to announce the other nominees.

Wait, their name isn't pronounced "cinco"? Also, who?!

At this point, there are so many things happening that I don't care/have nothing to say about, why am I even bothering with the Twittering?

Nicole Richie says "I've been thinking about this my whole life" and then pauses to think about her answer. I most definitely believe everything that anyone says on this show!

She's wearing green because vegetables, but just how carbon neutral is that dress I wonder.

Usually I'd be bothered by awards on the pre-show but these awards are clearly irrelevant enough that we all know we're really only here for the performances.

Chloe xandcross Halle are good. The instrumental's a bit bland, but this song is alright and I can see what works here. Get them in the studio with Tyler, the Creator, magic will be made.

Oh hey, one of the Black Eyed Peas is wearing a mask! Other than one of Harlow's backing dancers, I think this is the first mask I've seen in the whole show.

There should be more of them.

"Added to the Corona sample" he says.

No.

Just no.

Oh yeah, I forgot again about the inspo-porn singing doctors award. How exciting!

BTS has won two awards on the pre-show. Thank goodness they're actually performing on the main show, this might've been enough for a stan revolt.

They played two seconds of Watermelon Sugar, it's okay everyone the show is saved now! Everything is right with the world!

I hope BTS is more exciting in their performance than they were in that interview segment, or the stans might revolt against me! Oh nooooo!

(It wasn't any worse than any other interview segment, this is just a joke, please don't be mad!)

Advertising the Eminem video without actually mentioning Juice WRLD seems like a strange choice.

I really like both the Everything I Wanted and Blinding Lights videos, I'd take Blinding Lights as the winner but I'll be happy with either winning.

This Lewis Capaldi song isn't anywhere as awful as the other Lewis Capaldi song, but I'm still not interested in listening to Lewis Capaldi. At least his voice doesn't sound trash live.

What conversation did the Taylor video actually start? Why are they making things up like this? I'm gonna spend several minutes thinking more about this than the MGK performance.

Actually, I hate the MGK song in the first five seconds. I can't believe you'd piss on Juice WRLD's grave like this. The world deserves better than this.

Ah, so this is why Pitchfork gave Blackbear's album a four.

And don't ever let me say anything about anyone's voice ever again, I've heard MGK's attempt at pop punk and I want to die now.

I like Travis Barker less now just because he's associated himself with this mess. How dare.

"That is how you get ready for the VMAs." I'm prepared for the worst now.

And they're playing Yummy! What the fuck MTV?! Disgusting!

The Weeknd is way too good for this show, they don't deserve him.

Bet 99%+ of NYers were extremely confused by all those fireworks.

TYGA?! Maybe I should just stop watching now, that's gross.

Wait, is that a real audience? That's a bad idea.

She's actually talking about BLM and Kenosha, I'm a bit shocked. That's actually pretty good. Anyway, time to go back to pretending anyone still cares about The Black Eyed Peas.

Why is DaBaby lip-syncing? Were the other performers doing that? Did I miss it earlier?

That head-spinning mask dude was CGI, right?

Whatever the hell Lady Gaga is wearing is the only thing I care about in this whole show, which by my understanding has been the case for several VMA shows in years past.

Still pretty shocked I actually like a Miley Cyrus song, but this one is legit damn good. Pretty sure she's also lip-syncing though, guess I wasn't looking close enough at the other performers to notice before. Can't say it's surprising that they'd do that.

Honestly a bit impressive just how many Latin artists are nominated/performing at this show, but somehow they're still mostly segregated in the Best Latin category. "Impressive" is probably the wrong word because it implies I feel positively about this, and I very much don't.

I'm generally back-and-forth on whether I'm actually all that interested in a lot of Latin pop (There's a few artists I really like, haven't dove into the genre much), but this was a decent track. I could listen to more of this.

Y'know, I was probably turned off from a lot of Latin pop just 'cause I don't like Despacito and assumed a lot of it was close enough to that that I wouldn't be excited by any of it, but that appears to have been a poor judgment on my part.

Oh no, Gaga stole Nicole Richie's dress! I liked the first look more.

Yeah, BTS are good at their jobs. This song isn't really doing it for me, but the performance is solid and I can see why their fans love them so much.

(And if any stans see this, to be clear, this is the most BTS I've even listened to. If they have better tracks, let me know!)

Imagine being a professional musician at the VMAs who isn't nominated for anything or performing. That's depressing.

Imagine thinking Toosie Slide deserves any sort of awards attention. That's also depressing.

Why not have Ariana say a thing about winning that award? They got a Taylor acceptance video but nothing from Grande? Not even Bieber? That's silly.

Those five seconds of downtune strings and poledancing at the start of Gaga's performance were stolen from FKA Twigs, right? Anyway, still wishing I liked Gaga's music more. She's amazing, but her instrumentals are always boring to me.

Oh hey, there's Ariana! She's also amazing! Actually, I like this song way more than LG's usual output. Maybe I should actually give this album a shot then. Perhaps I was too quick to dismiss it.

This Lady Gaga performance is the best part of the show. Kinda wish I'd just watched this clipped out on YouTube and skipped the rest of the show.

Wait, is Stupid Love also a good song? Do I need to reconsider my opinion on everything Lady Gaga's ever done in her career? Hell yeah, I love being corrected!

How is Nicole Richie's delivery so boring and flat? Has she always been like this?

Giant cloud monster Gaga is the best version of Gaga.

What's wrong with California rolls? Is that supposed to be a clever line that I don't get? Eating nothing and just drinking whiskey sounds really unhealthy Gaga, you should eat something sweetie!

Oh, so the inspo-porn award was actually an award for all of them? That's slightly cooler than I thought it was gonna be. Still a bunch of silly inspo-porn. I hope all those doctors/medical professionals and all their patients are doing okay.

Still extremely unclear why All the Good Girls Go to Hell was up for this Video for Good award. I love the video and the song, but it doesn't actually have anything to do with social justice, does it? Maybe just 'cause the word "good" is in the title.

Damn it, Doja Cat is really good too! Why's she gotta be stuck with gross-ass Dr Luke?! It's very frustrating.

Hooray for Lady Gaga receiving the triclops award!

Megan Thee Stallion also called it the "moonman". They've gotta do something more to fix this name shit, otherwise the whole effort (Not very much effort actually) has been a complete waste.

I'm actually annoyed that their name isn't pronounced "cinco". That's gotta be what they were going for, right?

Also they're boring.

Brockhampton could've had the Best New Artist award and they didn't even make the shortlist. That's fucked up. At least it went to Doja over the other two, even though she works with Dr Luke at least their music is good, if I never hear Capaldi or Yungblud again that's fine.

Wow, they really just montaged the rest of the awards. I know I didn't care about these awards going in, but MTV could've put it a bit more effort to pretend that they do. They didn't even list all the awards in that montage.

Oh goodie, at least they gave the Best Video award to the right nominee. That Blinding Lights is great. And I appreciate Abel giving his speeches to justice for Breonna Taylor and Jacob Blake, something that actually matters.

Decided that I don't wanna hear from BEP or Tyga, and I don't know Nicky Jam but don't really care enough to find out who they are. Skipping the rest of the show. That was basically a waste of time. Ah well, maybe I'll be smart enough to not bother watching next year!

At least @ShadowTodd and @DanyOrdinary also watched so I can enjoy their @SongVsSongPod recap of the show more than the show itself. Misery loves company or something or other.