Thread by @Lil_Samamia, Finally decided to talk about my high functioning anxiety:If you know me, [...]

Finally decided to talk about my high functioning anxiety:
If you know me, you& #39;d know I& #39;m always & #39;busy& #39;. And not just running around from place to place being social, but I always have some task(s) to complete

For as long as I can remember I& #39;ve always been a part of organisations and when I have nothing to do, I feel like I& #39;m going insane. So I make sure I always have something to do.

I plan almost everything in my life down to the simplest moment of my day. When things stray from the plan, I find it difficult to cope and usually react in a manner that persons may think is & #39;overreacting& #39;. I& #39;m just overwhelmed by unexpected occurrences

Communication is extremely important to me. If we have to meet up at 9 and you& #39;re running half an hour late, chances are I& #39;m gonna just sit and wait the 30 mins cause I don& #39;t want to inconvenience you if you turn up at any point within that period

It& #39;s important to let me know if you& #39;re behind schedule so that my mind doesn& #39;t wander and become filled with thoughts like "did something awful happen to them or a family member?" Or "have they gotten into an accident?"

No communication offsets me in too many ways to count. Please communicate - I don& #39;t see anything as an over-communication.

I get stressed very easily. Sometimes it& #39;s manageable, other times, my body reacts badly. I end up wheezing and heading towards an asthma attack. That& #39;s my body& #39;s natural response to stress. I have yet to find a suitable coping mechanism.

I don& #39;t react to unfavourable change well. When I& #39;m uncomfortable and someone says to me "just deal with it" or "it& #39;s part of life" that& #39;s literally the worst thing you can do. I find it difficult to cope with big changes and that leads to me being anxious about everything

I& #39;m afraid of failure. This has manifested in me giving minimal effort when it comes to certain things- academics being one.
"what if I work so hard and only get a B in this course?"
So, I just put in no effort to begin with. That way, when I do badly, it& #39;s expected.

I generally can& #39;t deal with uncertainty. Uncertainty about the future, my current circumstances or even something that has already come to pass. Uncertainty rattles me

My heart races, I have constant headaches and there& #39;s always tension in my body. I barely sleep at night or even at all. My sleeps are always restless so I get up feeling more tired than I went to bed.

I& #39;m very good at organizing/logistics for events etc. This is because I generally think of every possible outcome (especially bad)

I try not to burden anyone with my problems. Everyone has their own shit going on; I just try to deal with myself for the most part. This can be alienating at times and I& #39;m working on being able to better communicate my feelings/struggles

It doesn& #39;t help when you& #39;re dismissive or try to invalidate what I& #39;m feeling. More reason for me to keep things to myself

I perform extremely well under pressure and usually put things off until the last minute because of this. That& #39;s why I feel I& #39;m able to do so many things (even if not humanly possible). More things to do = more pressure. It also helps that it forces my mind to focus on the task

I hate having nothing to do because then I have nothing productive to think about. I always engage myself in either something or planning something.

I& #39;ve gotten out of this for the most part but my appearance has always been so important to me. I always needed to be pretty. I am pretty, but I& #39;m prettier when I constantly do certain things - I attach alot of merit to genuine compliments.

I always go above and beyond for people in general. I always want things to be perfect. I want everyone around me to be happy, so much so, many times I do without/disregard my wellbeing to ensure the people around me are doing better.

Because I& #39;ve set such high standards for myself and fear disappointing others, I try my best to keep it up but sometimes it& #39;s unrealistic.

For eg. I& #39;d cut my only hour of sleep to make sure I make something so I don& #39;t show up empty handed and disappoint people. The few times I do actually do this, people are disappointed which leaves me feeling awful about myself. It makes me feel selfish.

I usually burn myself out and of recent it& #39;s been hard to catch back myself and return to what I deem "normal functioning". I had to make the tough decision to leave an organisation this year because I didn& #39;t feel like I could handle it. Not 2 months later, I joined another

Finally, this list could go on. Sometimes I see no end. I& #39;m constantly stressed and the little things just make it worse. There are tiny things you can do to make my existence a little more bearable for me :)
See above haha

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