Thread by @Lil_Samamia, Finally decided to talk about my high functioning anxiety:If you know me, [...]

Finally decided to talk about my high functioning anxiety:
If you know me, you'd know I'm always 'busy'. And not just running around from place to place being social, but I always have some task(s) to complete

For as long as I can remember I've always been a part of organisations and when I have nothing to do, I feel like I'm going insane. So I make sure I always have something to do.

I plan almost everything in my life down to the simplest moment of my day. When things stray from the plan, I find it difficult to cope and usually react in a manner that persons may think is 'overreacting'. I'm just overwhelmed by unexpected occurrences

Communication is extremely important to me. If we have to meet up at 9 and you're running half an hour late, chances are I'm gonna just sit and wait the 30 mins cause I don't want to inconvenience you if you turn up at any point within that period

It's important to let me know if you're behind schedule so that my mind doesn't wander and become filled with thoughts like "did something awful happen to them or a family member?" Or "have they gotten into an accident?"

No communication offsets me in too many ways to count. Please communicate - I don't see anything as an over-communication.

I get stressed very easily. Sometimes it's manageable, other times, my body reacts badly. I end up wheezing and heading towards an asthma attack. That's my body's natural response to stress. I have yet to find a suitable coping mechanism.

I don't react to unfavourable change well. When I'm uncomfortable and someone says to me "just deal with it" or "it's part of life" that's literally the worst thing you can do. I find it difficult to cope with big changes and that leads to me being anxious about everything

I'm afraid of failure. This has manifested in me giving minimal effort when it comes to certain things- academics being one.
"what if I work so hard and only get a B in this course?"
So, I just put in no effort to begin with. That way, when I do badly, it's expected.

I generally can't deal with uncertainty. Uncertainty about the future, my current circumstances or even something that has already come to pass. Uncertainty rattles me

My heart races, I have constant headaches and there's always tension in my body. I barely sleep at night or even at all. My sleeps are always restless so I get up feeling more tired than I went to bed.

I'm very good at organizing/logistics for events etc. This is because I generally think of every possible outcome (especially bad)

I try not to burden anyone with my problems. Everyone has their own shit going on; I just try to deal with myself for the most part. This can be alienating at times and I'm working on being able to better communicate my feelings/struggles

It doesn't help when you're dismissive or try to invalidate what I'm feeling. More reason for me to keep things to myself

I perform extremely well under pressure and usually put things off until the last minute because of this. That's why I feel I'm able to do so many things (even if not humanly possible). More things to do = more pressure. It also helps that it forces my mind to focus on the task

I hate having nothing to do because then I have nothing productive to think about. I always engage myself in either something or planning something.

I've gotten out of this for the most part but my appearance has always been so important to me. I always needed to be pretty. I am pretty, but I'm prettier when I constantly do certain things - I attach alot of merit to genuine compliments.

I always go above and beyond for people in general. I always want things to be perfect. I want everyone around me to be happy, so much so, many times I do without/disregard my wellbeing to ensure the people around me are doing better.

Because I've set such high standards for myself and fear disappointing others, I try my best to keep it up but sometimes it's unrealistic.

For eg. I'd cut my only hour of sleep to make sure I make something so I don't show up empty handed and disappoint people. The few times I do actually do this, people are disappointed which leaves me feeling awful about myself. It makes me feel selfish.

I usually burn myself out and of recent it's been hard to catch back myself and return to what I deem "normal functioning". I had to make the tough decision to leave an organisation this year because I didn't feel like I could handle it. Not 2 months later, I joined another

Finally, this list could go on. Sometimes I see no end. I'm constantly stressed and the little things just make it worse. There are tiny things you can do to make my existence a little more bearable for me :)
See above haha

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