August is a very painful month for me. When i approach the month of August, my spirit goes down. Its best explained in Xhosa "umphefumlo wam uba phantsi"

August is the month i lost my beautiful sister Lithemba. She was stabbed to death by her boyfriend on the 23rd of August 2008. Ironically, her birthday is on the 22nd of August.

Lithemba and I, were friends. She is the reason i moved to Cape Town. Shes why i went to UWC. I wanted to be close to her. Being my older sister, she had looked out for me throughout primary and high school, so it was only natural wanted to attend same varsity as her

Arriving at the entrance of the res my sister was murdered in, i will never ever forget how her boyfriend, who stood over 2m tall, punched me in the face, stood over me as I lay dazed on the ground and said "Go get your fucken sister in there you faggot"

Ive never forgot those words. I hear his voice in my mind even today. My friend Siyanda Bukani & I forced our way through campus security into to her room where i saw Lithemba's lifeless body covered in blood. I sat on her bed and stared at her, dead. Siyanda couldnt look

Its been an extremely difficult journey for me. Not a day goes past when i dont think of Lithemba. Small things trigger me: who would be her fav DJ? Would she love Amapiano? what car would she drive now? How many denim jackets would she have? (She loooved them)

I cried the day i realised that my lady went to same high school at the same time as Lithemba. She said "your sister was my senior. I was in grade 8 when she was in matric. She was a lovely person. Always bubbly"

When Reeva Steenkamp passed away, it hit me hard. Watching her parents on TV, i knew what they were going through. Lithemba and Reeva were born in the same year 1983. 3 days apart, Reeva on the 19th and Lithemba on the 22nd.

When Uyinene passed away, it broke my heart. I couldnt begin to imagine how her older brother felt. Knowing the area where she met her untimely demise, i thought "no man. A lady shouldn't die like that, on a beautiful CPT Saturday. Like that!!!"

i remember being at Unibell train station waiting for a train, as it approached, i thought to myself "If i go further down and jump in front of it, it wont be able to stop. Ive researched this: it takes 40 seconds for a train to stop"

I cried as it approached because i knew that if i do it, my pain would be over but my mom would be losing a second child. It would be ending my pain, but would be adding more pain to every single person i care about. I didnt

At the beginning of August 2020, after receiving running app invites to run 50km, another to run 100km and another to run 120km, i decided : let me run. I will see where i get

Every day during August when i ran, i asked myself questions. Running. For Lithemba, for Reeva, for Karabo, for Uyinene. I cried alot because i asked myself: Man, even during a international pandemic that is of gigantic propotions, women STILL cant get a break in SA

I ran in the evenings and thought, its so dark here but im not really worried, nothing will happen to me. I thought of all the times ive gotten into a cab knowing full well that the details on my phone and the car in front of me, dont match but thought: Hay suka! Khwela man.

I thought of all the times my lady has called me saying "akhonto. Im about to walk past the securities. If im on the fone, they wont ask if im going to be warm"

When i ran, i thought of the drafters of the Freedom Charter, of the Constitution. Perhaps they never envisaged women being under siege like they are now. The large number of graves that were dug recently, were they for Covid-19 victims or for all the women in SA?

For every Lithemba Jama, there are 10 other women, whos names are never mentioned. Mere crime stats. We cant go on like this.

My only prayer, is for something to happen. That nobody else gets to feel what i feel. For no family to lose a daughter, a sister, an aunt. My sisters smile lives in my heart