I was just thinking apropos of another conversation...Another thing I get asked a lot is what I didn't anticipate about being a published author, or what's my biggest advice for debut authors. And here's one that took me by surprise:

It's SO IMPORTANT to draw boundaries.

There's this tendency at first to say YES to absolutely everything: every impossible deadline, every interview, every book blurb, every request for advice. We're so grateful to be published, it seems like such a fragile dream, so as a debut you want to just say YES YES YES.

The problem is that it's not sustainable. Your time, energy, and resources are, sadly, finite. You can YES your way into a deep hole very easily.

Heck, sometimes even if you're pretty restrained about saying YES, you can wind up in that hole just from default expectations.

I learned the hard way that as an author, you need to draw a boundary around the things that matter to you. Whether that's your family time, your privacy, your fun side projects, your 8 hours of sleep, etc. No one will draw that line for you.

This isn't because anyone is trying to be mean! Every author is different and needs to draw those lines in different places. No one will know I need to focus on my kids in September due to the start of school and can't do a hard deadline crunch that month if I don't tell them.

And here's the thing: authors are the source of the juice that powers the whole publishing industry. Publishing is full of lovely people, but as an entity it squeezes as much out of authors as it can. If you exhaust yourself meeting its demands, it will ALWAYS ask for more.

So if you're a debut author, I heartily recommend figuring out what your limits are, what your boundaries are, as early as possible. And then gently but firmly stick to them.

It's easier to, say, decline a blurb if you can say "Sorry, I can only do one a month!"

Don't be afraid to ask your agent to help you! If you need to push back on anything from deadlines to creative direction, your agent should be your best ally.

To be honest, nearly every author I know is struggling at their limit in one way or another. It's an emotionally demanding job that will eat up all your time & energy even WITHOUT any outside pressure!

No matter how fun & wonderful the work, it's still work. You still need rest.

You still need space to live your life. Time to enjoy the work and do a good job with it. Blood left in your stone.

So as a debut, one of the best skills you can develop is saying no.

Take on the stuff you have enthusiasm and time for! But never feel bad about declining the rest.

Everyone—your readers, your publisher, your family—will be much happier if you don't burn out. Take care of yourself, and give yourself enough space for joy. You deserve it.