Ok, #Calgary. You wanna know why we should defund the police?

Because last night I spent over four hours in a freezing parking lot with an acquaintance who was severely intoxicated, distraught, and suicidal.

I had spent more than thirty minutes waiting to get through to someone on Calgary’s ONLY distress line, just to be told their mobile crisis team ONLY OPERATES BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 9AM & 9PM.

I have no formal psych training, social work, crisis outreach, or the like, and I am in no position to be helping this person, being in the middle of my own personal 5-month mental health hell.

But the only 2 options I had last night were:
a) Deal with it myself
b) Call CPS

Due to my own EXTREMELY negative interactions with the Calgary Police Service, and because of my friend’s EXTREMELY emotional and intoxicated state, there was no fucking way I would call police.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: DO NOT CALL POLICE FOR MENTAL HEALTH CRISES.
Mental illness is not a crime. Desperation and hopelessness are not crimes. Addiction is not a crime.

So I sat there, and I dealt with it. And when I finally got home, I tortured myself all night wondering if I’d done the right thing.

CRISES DO NOT ONLY OCCUR DURING THE HOURS OF 9AM - 9PM.

Defund the police NOW. And use that money to give Calgarians more options for crisis care. The 30+ minute wait for a (severely uninformed and undertrained) crisis line worker was bad enough.

YOU ARE PUTTING PEOPLE’S LIVES AT RISK.

I would also like to take this moment to set the record straight for any of you on the “they’re not suicidal, they just want attention” train. (Because I got to deal with this last night too.)

It doesn’t matter what fucking stage of a suicide threat they’re at: maybe they just don’t want to be here anymore, maybe they just want to disappear, maybe they’re just thinking of suicide, maybe they’ve planned out their death to the last detail and have written their note...

...maybe (un-fucking-likely) they are just doing it for attention. IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER.

If someone is coming to you and admitting that they are struggling, take it seriously. No matter what level the threat, be honoured that they have chosen YOU, they have trusted YOU enough to be their most vulnerable self in front of.

It doesn’t matter HOW someone asks for help. You don’t punish people for their desperation. You don’t ignore them because you doubt the veracity of their claims. Recognize that no matter what the stage, they are in crisis and are asking for help in whatever way they can muster.

Do what you can, to the best of your ability, to validate their pain, to acknowledge their distress, and to be an advocate for them, their value, and their healing.

Suicide is not a manipulation. It is desperation. And we all know that in our own moments of desperation, we haven’t been our best & most rational selves.

Recognize their core emotions and work from there. What’s on the surface is only a shadow of the torture they may be feeling inside.

It’s insane that I was more afraid of what the police would do if they showed up than what my friend might do to herself. Calgarians in crisis deserve better than this.